Post by tristan on Oct 17, 2022 13:47:39 GMT -5
“What did you get me into?” the voice demands, cautious and reserved.
We fade in with a shot of a virtual unknown to most…
No… it’s NOT Dane Preston.
He only wishes he can hold a candle to what I’ve got going on. My name, for those of you who don’t know, is “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater, and I’m coming to Waikiki to leave a lesser Montouri with a gaping butthole large enough to cram Michelle’s head inside of.
But, (pun intended) before we even get there, we find “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater kicked back on the patio of his condo in Miami, Florida just off Ocean Blvd in South Beach. Sitting across from him is a man, nay… a Beast… that has been making a lot of noise over the last several months since returning at the Cannabis Cup following a prolonged absence.
Johnathan Cable.
JOHN CABLE:“What do you mean what did I get YOU into? Aren’t YOU the one that got ME into the Cannabis Cup?” he demands back quickly.
Tristan nods his head, approving the statement as factual.
JOHN CABLE: “So, partner… how is this any different?” he says with a sarcastic tone.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Good point there. You got me on that…” he chuckles as he smiles about the predicament.
JOHN CABLE: “So you’re in then… right?” he asks/tells his tag partner.
There is a deep exhale from “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater as he looks into the eyes of his longtime tag partner across the patio..
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “I mean, I guess. Where is it?” slowly, curiosity taking over now.
JOHN CABLE: “Waikiki… at the end of the month. I already took care of travel and rooms.” he says shortly, as if he had known this was a foregone conclusion, and to be fair, he had.
The moment John showed up at my place I knew that he’d gotten The Glorious New Breed involved in something but I didn’t expect another Supershow. He never really liked them years ago, but it seems that since we reunited at the Cannabis Cup and hashed out all of our old grievances, the two of us partnering from time to time is starting to become a thing.
… I’m not opposed.
For those unfamiliar with me or what I bring to the table, I’m a man of MANY words yet you won’t find me lurking around on Twitter or using any other social media platform to shamelessly plug myself or what I’ve got going on, you’re not going to dig up a lot of information on my accomplishments or the body count I’ve left in my wake. I can give two shits about explaining my past and more about talking about the future.
Talk about a change of pace, right?
The Glorious New Breed is set to ride again, providing entertainment for the masses while smacking around another overrated Tag Team that believes that this belongs to them. John and I aren’t rookies, we’re not some random pairing thrown together in an attempt to fill a spot on a card.
We are battle-tested.
We have levels of chemistry inside that ring that is unparalleled to anything that either of you has ever stepped in front of. I don’t expect you to believe me, I’m just being upfront enough with both of you twatwaffles now so when you’re left sulking in the corner you can’t say that you weren’t warned.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Who are the next victims?” Tristan asks as he gets out of his chair and takes a look across at the busy South Beach.
JOHN CABLE: It’s interesting, actually. We’re not just going against a tag team… we’re going against a couple fr…” John starts but Tristan doesn’t allow him to finish before cutting him abruptly.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Toddrick and Austin!” he spouts while spinning around facing John excitedly.
John lightly shakes off Tristan’s answer which seemingly starts to break Tristan’s heart.
JOHN CABLE: “Sadly… no.” he says
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Raven and Atty?” he asks, the excitement building with each moment.
JOHN CABLE: “Wrong again.” he chides.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Ah shit! Chris Page and Candice Wolf-Page!” he says with a hint of anticipation. The sheer excitement from Tristan’s voice is as gleeful as a kid in a candy store.
JOHN CABLE: “I wish.” he chuckles in answer.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Those are the only couples in the business that matter at this point in time, or at least from what I’ve seen.” he says, confusion playing across his face plainly.
Something that you should all come to grips with is that outside of The Cannabis Cup I haven’t been actively wrestling since 2017; so, nah… I don’t know a lot about who is fucking who and nor do I care. What I care about is coming into this Supershow, donating money to our charity, kicking the crap out of two unsuspecting, overrated cuntcakes while making it look freaking easy with my GLORIOUS MAN BEAST eager to purchase some razor blades to shit down your throats.
JOHN CABLE: “These two come… I mean, I’m not going to say highly recommended, but from what I’ve been told they’ve been together for a hot little minute. Have you heard of Paul Montouri or Michelle Riggs?” he asks hesitantly.
The name seems to trigger Tristan’s memory.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Yo… isn’t that Montouri dude the same dude that lost at the Cup?” he says tapping the side of his head as he thinks back a few months.
JOHN CABLE: “Yep.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Doesn’t he have a brother or something? I could have sworn I saw a Joe over in the WGWF.” he states, putting more and more of the pieces together in his mind.
JOHN CABLE: “Yep.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “So… what’s the story here?”
JOHN CABLE: “The only story that’s being told here is us showing up in Waikiki to wreck shop and further establish why The Glorious New Breed will always be the true Tag Team that moves the needle.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Duh… but what else? Why this one?”
JOHN CABLE: “The interactions I've had with Paul so far on Twitter tell me that he’s not the most intelligent guy in the world; I mean when your first insult is as generic as ‘this guy's ugly…hyuck hyuck’ it doesn’t bode well for you.”
Tristan starts to chuckle under his breath before responding.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Talk about originality! Calling an ugly fucker ugly! WOO HOO! He broke the bank, didn’t he?” Slater laughs as he tosses his head back in amusement at John's expense.
I’ve been brought up to speed by John on the back-and-forth that you’ve attempted to bring and the first question that comes to my mind is just how fucking lame both of you are with the petty third-grade insults like we’re in elementary school while not understanding while you’re playing ten-year-old games you’ve been lead down a path that ends in your eventual slaughter. I’ve done some research on both of you and it’s been deduced that anywhere you’ve found success has had some political indications behind them.
Fight NYC.
You two didn’t rise to any prominence until all the transplants took their balls and went home. To take it a step further it’s not like you even defended your Island Titles against anyone of merit let alone anyone at all. I would say show me the proof but the website doesn’t exist; so I guess it’s your word against mine, right? Didn’t you two pick those belts up at the WORST Pay-Per-View event known to man that ultimately closed the organization? Yeah, that’s a lot to brag about.
Or what about Level Up?
At least it’s an organization that I can dig up some information on you both and low and behold what do I see? The lovely wannabe power couple couldn’t even make it out of the first round of a Multiplayer Tournament and yet you want to stand in my way and try to convince me that either of you poses a threat to me… let alone the Man-Beast? Pfft. Go back to the playground where you can pop each other's pimples because the last thing both of you are going to have to worry about is good looks because we fully plan on rearranging both of your faces.
JOHN CABLE: “That’s just the least of the predictable nature that encompasses what we’re going to be dealing with. Apparently, he’s into being dominated sexually by his old lady, not that I’m kink shaming… but…” he says with a grimace as he really doesn’t want to keep harping on this, but knowing Tristan, this is going to come up a few more times.
A very confused look comes over the face of Tristan upon hearing the latter of John’s statement.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “He a moe?” he looks at john with a serious expression and asks before following up.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Don’t get me wrong if that’s his thing but… I mean, are we even gaining anything by slaying Michelle and her gimp?”
JOHN CABLE: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but yes.. There is a reward for the match that makes it worth our time.” John responds as he gets up from the table where he towers over Tristan.
JOHN CABLE: “The goal is to make The Glorious New Breed the tag team of Supershows; even if they’re not a huge blip on our radar doesn’t mean they don’t have some name recognition. Not to mention it’s not like people know who we are either when you consider this is our second match back in five years. Not to mention this is a charity event after all, and we will be able to win some money for St Jude’s Children's Hospital when we pull off the victory, and they deserve some help.” John says with a smile, happy to be working on a charity event again.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Name recognition? Dude, just because they roll with the biggest group of hypocrites doesn’t make them valuable; but hey, whatever rationale you need to compartmentalize I’m good with. At least there’s the charity part, right? I just feel like we should probably be getting them some sort of welcoming gift to welcome them to the REAL competition.” he says as a smile spreads across his features.
JOHN CABLE: “Oh? What do you have in mind?” he asks, curiosity striking him, but totally unprepared for where this would end up.
An evil Cheshire cat smile finds its way upon THE Tristan Slater’s face.
One thing I will say about my partner is he’s a man that stands up for what he believes in regardless of anyone's opinion. There is a contingent in our industry that loves to pile on the bullshit while masking the cause of it all… that’s not John. He was the first man to name a charity; St. Judes, as our jam for this affair and the monies raised are his doing. He’s got a heart the size of Texas and as ginuwine of a guy you’ll ever meet. Michelle and Paulie are too busy with trivial shit of being a lackluster team that can’t live up to the hype. The Glorious New Breed have always and will always be a force in the industry. For far too long we’ve not gotten the respect that we deserve which is why these special events hold a great deal of importance to us on a personal level. The lights have never been brighter, the eyes on the matches, the talents, and the performances are at an all-time high. This is our stage, this is our house, and we are going to defend it with every drop of blood in our bodies if it means WE are the team to beat.
This is what we live for.
So please Paul, continue to believe that we are fanboys. Continue to try to pretend that you and Michelle aren’t anything more than all sizzle and no steak that guys like us chew up and spit out because cheap knock-offs aren’t our style. Make no mistake about it when it comes to tag teams that is exactly what you both are.
____________________
We reopen as John Cable and THE Tristan Slater are in some sort of shop in South Beach with John showing a puzzled look across his face. He points a tentative finger at something just off camera as he states.
JOHN CABLE: “Listen… I’m all for the gift you picked out for Michelle. I am. It’s useful, timely, and funny… buuuut this one I don’t know about.”
THE Tristan Slater uncrosses his arms and turns toward John.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Well brother, I’m the kind of guy that likes giving gifts to those less fortunate. You found some entertainment in that because it’s fucking funny.”
John adjusts his posture toward THE Tristan Slater while he responds.
JOHN CABLE: “I can get behind those kinds of gifts because there is a hint of comedy behind it because in her case… she is going to need it.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “With it she can do so many things like; she can safely get in a car or reach things on the middle shelf, but more importantly she can actually reach all the way up here to punch us in the face! Michelle needs a step ladder to accomplish those goals and I hope she appreciates the thought I put into picking one up for her. It sucks being at a disadvantage so early in the match.”
JOHN CABLE: “Dude you aren’t right.” he sighs as he shakes his head at his partner.
I never claimed to be for everybody, and nor do I care to be. I’ve always run to the beat of my own drum finding success wherever I’ve competed. I am okay with the legacy that I’ve left nor do I have to be the focal point of the conversation. I steal the show when I step through those ropes because Professional Wrestling is what makes me tick. For those unfamiliar with me should also know that unlike my brother John, I don’t play within the lines of the rules.
I don’t mind giving you a cheap shot, I don’t care if the fans cheer or boo.
What I care about is leaving with my arm raised in victory by any means necessary.
When it comes to our opponents… one might think that because they’re a couple they’re going to have better chemistry or have some sort of edge but honestly being emotionally invested in your partner is the biggest weakness a team can have. It makes it easier to play one off the other but don’t take my word for it just pay attention as I expose it.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “But I’m not wrong either! People like Michelle, the vertically challenged, get discriminated against all the time. I mean, they can’t ride most of the rides at Six Flags or Universal Studios, they can’t sit at a booth at a restaurant and their feet touch the ground, they can’t drive without a phonebook to sit on to see over the dash, and they definitely can’t punch people in the face from way down there.”
THE Tristan Slater catches himself off guard.
JOHN CABLE: “Oh shit. I know that look. What tidbit did your brain just trip over?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “I totally missed the boat with Michelle and the step ladder.”
JOHN CABLE: “What do you mean?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Efficiency… I should have got her stilts. It would have alleviated the need to constantly open and close a step ladder and move it around to get where she needs to be to punch people in the face!”
JOHN CABLE: “Well… it’s not too late.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Very true. Very True!” he says as a grin spreads across his worried face. John turns and points back to the object.
JOHN CABLE: “But that… yeah man, I don’t know about that.”
THE Tristan Slater looks back at the item in question.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Are you sure? It has a handle on it and everything. It seems like it would be easy to use.”
JOHN CABLE: “Yeah but I’m not so sure the girth of that is meant for the human body… even his.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “What?!?! After everything that dude has had to say over the last several weeks? IF you ask me it’s not big enough… but it happens to be the biggest I’ve ever seen.
JOHN CABLE: “Ah so you have experience in this sort of… purchase? Research?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Oh fuck off!”
JOHN CABLE: “Hey man… like Paulina said… it’s almost 2023 papi… and if that’s your thing I won’t judge.”
THE Tristan Slater lashes out at John playfully.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You’re lucky I don’t punch you in the face.”
JOHN CABLE: “You can try if you want to…”
Okay so what you might not know about John and me is how we’ve not always been friends. Our relationship has had many strains throughout the last decade but even with the Street Fights or the black eyes our bond rests with every time I’ve needed advice, every time I’ve strayed away from walking that fine line he’s been there to reel me back in. Every now and then tempers might flare but ultimately cooler heads will always prevail between us. It’s a weird component to our relationship as a whole.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You’re lucky we’re in this fine adult establishment.”
JOHN CABLE: “We can always step outside if you need?”
A sales clerk enters the frame.
CLERK: “Can I help you gentleman?”
THE Tristan Slater smirks at John before turning toward the sales clerk; a white guy in mid twenties rocking a Def Leppard vintage t-shirt along with some older white washed jeans.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “As a matter of fact you can, I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”
CLERK : “Patrick.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Ah okay, Patrick, so my large friend here is in the market for the biggest dildo you’ve got in stock, apparently my man is interested in… well… you know…”
John shoves THE Tristan Slater.
JOHN CABLE: “The fuck I am!” he says disgustedly at his partner.
THE Tristan Slater responds with a laugh as he looks at his tag team partner.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Easy big fella, no need to get all uppity because nobody here is judging you for the needs you want to have filled.”
THE Tristan Slater turns his attention back to Patrick.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “We were curious why this one has a handle on it.”
WHACK!
THE Tristan Slater hits the floor hard as he’s decked from the side by John Cable! THE Tristan Slater clutches left eye as he gets to a seated position.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “It never gets old.”
John reaches down helping THE Tristan Slater back up to his feet. John dusts off Slater’s shoulders.
JOHN CABLE: “Next time… stop while you’re ahead.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Patrick… as I was saying, my friend here wants something that will leave a lasting impression and the handle on this thing makes me think lightsaber over dildo.”
The camera pans back revealing a 16 inch long, 6 inch thick, bright blue silicone dildo with a wooden handle displayed there.
THE Tristan Slater: “My friend here is trying to say we have a mutual friend that has a thing for butt stuff from his girl. I think this is too big and my friend here thinks there’s no such thing. Personally I think if we send him this he’s going to use it on himself so when I stick my foot up his ass it will slide right in.” Slater chimes in. “And where is the fun with anything loose, am I right?”
Patrick stands in utter bewilderment.
JOHN CABLE: “That’s nasty.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “But is it though?”
John simply shakes his head.
PATRICK: “So do you actually want the toy, or not, because honestly… This is all kinds of awkward.”
THE Tristan Slater turns toward The Beast.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You know, now that I think about it you’re right. He was already fucked when they announced this match. The only thing we need to do is show up and do what the Glorious New Breed does best.”
THE Tristan Slater directs his attention back toward Patrick.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Ya know Patrick, I think we’re good. We’ll just fuck him ourselves.”
JOHN CABLE: “That totally didn’t sound right.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “I totally don’t care.“
THE Tristan Slater pats Patrick on the shoulder as he passes by.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Thanks for your help. Have a great day.”
THE Tristan Slater kisses him on the cheek as he exits the screen leaving John looking at a very confused employee.
JOHN CABLE: “I’m sorry about that. He is… well… he’s eccentric. Have a good day though… sorry.”
____________________
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had a lot of fun dunking on the two of you like it’s going out of style… but this is the part where the jokes end and we get down to business. This is all fun and games for the two of you but has a completely different meaning to us. We are on a quest to be labeled as the best team on the Super Show circuits, but in order to get there we must first establish ourselves. The GLORIOUS movement started at the Cannabis Cup, and that train is going to continue rolling through the Tara Fenix Charity Event at your expenses. We thrive on taking every opportunity and making the most of it while it seems to be that both of you squander yours while doing nothing of any notoriety.
You could say the same thing about the two of us too, I guess.
So essentially this turns into a must win for each of us, right? If that’s truly the case then I feel like you both have WAY more to prove than we do. We’ve gone into battle against some of the best Japan has to offer, and I mean this is the nicest possible way… you two don’t even compare to our last victims. You’re both generic, and in Paul’s case a lesser talented Montrouri. Sure, you’ve probably heard that many times over your career and I’d imagine you’ll try to laugh it off but in YOUR case not only is it true it eats you up inside.
Michelle can only carry you so far, my man.
Speaking of Michelle, kudos for being the dominant force in that relationship. It’s good to see a woman take charge of a situation. It is… but unfortunately for you, your time in the sun has come and gone. We now have ourselves a collision course where true dominance is going to be established. Good thing for you is that when it comes to the Man Beast and the GLORIOUS one your dominance will not only be matched but it will be surpassed. You’ll be begging to go back to the minor leagues after this brush with greatness, and I promise you that unlike Paulie… we won’t leave you disappointed. Safe to say on a level of one to ten you’re hitting a full tilt on just how screwed you’ve become. There’s no force of nature or act of God that’s going to stop the GLORIOUS NEW BREED on our path to putting our dream into a reality. Be grateful that you’ve had this opportunity, learn from it so in the future you can successfully call yourselves a legitimate Tag Team over a couple of glorified enhancement talents.
My name is THE Tristan Slater… and I approve this message.
We fade in with a shot of a virtual unknown to most…
No… it’s NOT Dane Preston.
He only wishes he can hold a candle to what I’ve got going on. My name, for those of you who don’t know, is “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater, and I’m coming to Waikiki to leave a lesser Montouri with a gaping butthole large enough to cram Michelle’s head inside of.
But, (pun intended) before we even get there, we find “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater kicked back on the patio of his condo in Miami, Florida just off Ocean Blvd in South Beach. Sitting across from him is a man, nay… a Beast… that has been making a lot of noise over the last several months since returning at the Cannabis Cup following a prolonged absence.
Johnathan Cable.
JOHN CABLE:“What do you mean what did I get YOU into? Aren’t YOU the one that got ME into the Cannabis Cup?” he demands back quickly.
Tristan nods his head, approving the statement as factual.
JOHN CABLE: “So, partner… how is this any different?” he says with a sarcastic tone.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Good point there. You got me on that…” he chuckles as he smiles about the predicament.
JOHN CABLE: “So you’re in then… right?” he asks/tells his tag partner.
There is a deep exhale from “THE GLORIOUS” Tristan Slater as he looks into the eyes of his longtime tag partner across the patio..
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “I mean, I guess. Where is it?” slowly, curiosity taking over now.
JOHN CABLE: “Waikiki… at the end of the month. I already took care of travel and rooms.” he says shortly, as if he had known this was a foregone conclusion, and to be fair, he had.
The moment John showed up at my place I knew that he’d gotten The Glorious New Breed involved in something but I didn’t expect another Supershow. He never really liked them years ago, but it seems that since we reunited at the Cannabis Cup and hashed out all of our old grievances, the two of us partnering from time to time is starting to become a thing.
… I’m not opposed.
For those unfamiliar with me or what I bring to the table, I’m a man of MANY words yet you won’t find me lurking around on Twitter or using any other social media platform to shamelessly plug myself or what I’ve got going on, you’re not going to dig up a lot of information on my accomplishments or the body count I’ve left in my wake. I can give two shits about explaining my past and more about talking about the future.
Talk about a change of pace, right?
The Glorious New Breed is set to ride again, providing entertainment for the masses while smacking around another overrated Tag Team that believes that this belongs to them. John and I aren’t rookies, we’re not some random pairing thrown together in an attempt to fill a spot on a card.
We are battle-tested.
We have levels of chemistry inside that ring that is unparalleled to anything that either of you has ever stepped in front of. I don’t expect you to believe me, I’m just being upfront enough with both of you twatwaffles now so when you’re left sulking in the corner you can’t say that you weren’t warned.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Who are the next victims?” Tristan asks as he gets out of his chair and takes a look across at the busy South Beach.
JOHN CABLE: It’s interesting, actually. We’re not just going against a tag team… we’re going against a couple fr…” John starts but Tristan doesn’t allow him to finish before cutting him abruptly.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Toddrick and Austin!” he spouts while spinning around facing John excitedly.
John lightly shakes off Tristan’s answer which seemingly starts to break Tristan’s heart.
JOHN CABLE: “Sadly… no.” he says
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Raven and Atty?” he asks, the excitement building with each moment.
JOHN CABLE: “Wrong again.” he chides.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Ah shit! Chris Page and Candice Wolf-Page!” he says with a hint of anticipation. The sheer excitement from Tristan’s voice is as gleeful as a kid in a candy store.
JOHN CABLE: “I wish.” he chuckles in answer.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Those are the only couples in the business that matter at this point in time, or at least from what I’ve seen.” he says, confusion playing across his face plainly.
Something that you should all come to grips with is that outside of The Cannabis Cup I haven’t been actively wrestling since 2017; so, nah… I don’t know a lot about who is fucking who and nor do I care. What I care about is coming into this Supershow, donating money to our charity, kicking the crap out of two unsuspecting, overrated cuntcakes while making it look freaking easy with my GLORIOUS MAN BEAST eager to purchase some razor blades to shit down your throats.
JOHN CABLE: “These two come… I mean, I’m not going to say highly recommended, but from what I’ve been told they’ve been together for a hot little minute. Have you heard of Paul Montouri or Michelle Riggs?” he asks hesitantly.
The name seems to trigger Tristan’s memory.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Yo… isn’t that Montouri dude the same dude that lost at the Cup?” he says tapping the side of his head as he thinks back a few months.
JOHN CABLE: “Yep.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Doesn’t he have a brother or something? I could have sworn I saw a Joe over in the WGWF.” he states, putting more and more of the pieces together in his mind.
JOHN CABLE: “Yep.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “So… what’s the story here?”
JOHN CABLE: “The only story that’s being told here is us showing up in Waikiki to wreck shop and further establish why The Glorious New Breed will always be the true Tag Team that moves the needle.”
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Duh… but what else? Why this one?”
JOHN CABLE: “The interactions I've had with Paul so far on Twitter tell me that he’s not the most intelligent guy in the world; I mean when your first insult is as generic as ‘this guy's ugly…hyuck hyuck’ it doesn’t bode well for you.”
Tristan starts to chuckle under his breath before responding.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Talk about originality! Calling an ugly fucker ugly! WOO HOO! He broke the bank, didn’t he?” Slater laughs as he tosses his head back in amusement at John's expense.
I’ve been brought up to speed by John on the back-and-forth that you’ve attempted to bring and the first question that comes to my mind is just how fucking lame both of you are with the petty third-grade insults like we’re in elementary school while not understanding while you’re playing ten-year-old games you’ve been lead down a path that ends in your eventual slaughter. I’ve done some research on both of you and it’s been deduced that anywhere you’ve found success has had some political indications behind them.
Fight NYC.
You two didn’t rise to any prominence until all the transplants took their balls and went home. To take it a step further it’s not like you even defended your Island Titles against anyone of merit let alone anyone at all. I would say show me the proof but the website doesn’t exist; so I guess it’s your word against mine, right? Didn’t you two pick those belts up at the WORST Pay-Per-View event known to man that ultimately closed the organization? Yeah, that’s a lot to brag about.
Or what about Level Up?
At least it’s an organization that I can dig up some information on you both and low and behold what do I see? The lovely wannabe power couple couldn’t even make it out of the first round of a Multiplayer Tournament and yet you want to stand in my way and try to convince me that either of you poses a threat to me… let alone the Man-Beast? Pfft. Go back to the playground where you can pop each other's pimples because the last thing both of you are going to have to worry about is good looks because we fully plan on rearranging both of your faces.
JOHN CABLE: “That’s just the least of the predictable nature that encompasses what we’re going to be dealing with. Apparently, he’s into being dominated sexually by his old lady, not that I’m kink shaming… but…” he says with a grimace as he really doesn’t want to keep harping on this, but knowing Tristan, this is going to come up a few more times.
A very confused look comes over the face of Tristan upon hearing the latter of John’s statement.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “He a moe?” he looks at john with a serious expression and asks before following up.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Don’t get me wrong if that’s his thing but… I mean, are we even gaining anything by slaying Michelle and her gimp?”
JOHN CABLE: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but yes.. There is a reward for the match that makes it worth our time.” John responds as he gets up from the table where he towers over Tristan.
JOHN CABLE: “The goal is to make The Glorious New Breed the tag team of Supershows; even if they’re not a huge blip on our radar doesn’t mean they don’t have some name recognition. Not to mention it’s not like people know who we are either when you consider this is our second match back in five years. Not to mention this is a charity event after all, and we will be able to win some money for St Jude’s Children's Hospital when we pull off the victory, and they deserve some help.” John says with a smile, happy to be working on a charity event again.
“THE GLORIOUS” TRISTAN SLATER: “Name recognition? Dude, just because they roll with the biggest group of hypocrites doesn’t make them valuable; but hey, whatever rationale you need to compartmentalize I’m good with. At least there’s the charity part, right? I just feel like we should probably be getting them some sort of welcoming gift to welcome them to the REAL competition.” he says as a smile spreads across his features.
JOHN CABLE: “Oh? What do you have in mind?” he asks, curiosity striking him, but totally unprepared for where this would end up.
An evil Cheshire cat smile finds its way upon THE Tristan Slater’s face.
One thing I will say about my partner is he’s a man that stands up for what he believes in regardless of anyone's opinion. There is a contingent in our industry that loves to pile on the bullshit while masking the cause of it all… that’s not John. He was the first man to name a charity; St. Judes, as our jam for this affair and the monies raised are his doing. He’s got a heart the size of Texas and as ginuwine of a guy you’ll ever meet. Michelle and Paulie are too busy with trivial shit of being a lackluster team that can’t live up to the hype. The Glorious New Breed have always and will always be a force in the industry. For far too long we’ve not gotten the respect that we deserve which is why these special events hold a great deal of importance to us on a personal level. The lights have never been brighter, the eyes on the matches, the talents, and the performances are at an all-time high. This is our stage, this is our house, and we are going to defend it with every drop of blood in our bodies if it means WE are the team to beat.
This is what we live for.
So please Paul, continue to believe that we are fanboys. Continue to try to pretend that you and Michelle aren’t anything more than all sizzle and no steak that guys like us chew up and spit out because cheap knock-offs aren’t our style. Make no mistake about it when it comes to tag teams that is exactly what you both are.
____________________
We reopen as John Cable and THE Tristan Slater are in some sort of shop in South Beach with John showing a puzzled look across his face. He points a tentative finger at something just off camera as he states.
JOHN CABLE: “Listen… I’m all for the gift you picked out for Michelle. I am. It’s useful, timely, and funny… buuuut this one I don’t know about.”
THE Tristan Slater uncrosses his arms and turns toward John.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Well brother, I’m the kind of guy that likes giving gifts to those less fortunate. You found some entertainment in that because it’s fucking funny.”
John adjusts his posture toward THE Tristan Slater while he responds.
JOHN CABLE: “I can get behind those kinds of gifts because there is a hint of comedy behind it because in her case… she is going to need it.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “With it she can do so many things like; she can safely get in a car or reach things on the middle shelf, but more importantly she can actually reach all the way up here to punch us in the face! Michelle needs a step ladder to accomplish those goals and I hope she appreciates the thought I put into picking one up for her. It sucks being at a disadvantage so early in the match.”
JOHN CABLE: “Dude you aren’t right.” he sighs as he shakes his head at his partner.
I never claimed to be for everybody, and nor do I care to be. I’ve always run to the beat of my own drum finding success wherever I’ve competed. I am okay with the legacy that I’ve left nor do I have to be the focal point of the conversation. I steal the show when I step through those ropes because Professional Wrestling is what makes me tick. For those unfamiliar with me should also know that unlike my brother John, I don’t play within the lines of the rules.
I don’t mind giving you a cheap shot, I don’t care if the fans cheer or boo.
What I care about is leaving with my arm raised in victory by any means necessary.
When it comes to our opponents… one might think that because they’re a couple they’re going to have better chemistry or have some sort of edge but honestly being emotionally invested in your partner is the biggest weakness a team can have. It makes it easier to play one off the other but don’t take my word for it just pay attention as I expose it.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “But I’m not wrong either! People like Michelle, the vertically challenged, get discriminated against all the time. I mean, they can’t ride most of the rides at Six Flags or Universal Studios, they can’t sit at a booth at a restaurant and their feet touch the ground, they can’t drive without a phonebook to sit on to see over the dash, and they definitely can’t punch people in the face from way down there.”
THE Tristan Slater catches himself off guard.
JOHN CABLE: “Oh shit. I know that look. What tidbit did your brain just trip over?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “I totally missed the boat with Michelle and the step ladder.”
JOHN CABLE: “What do you mean?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Efficiency… I should have got her stilts. It would have alleviated the need to constantly open and close a step ladder and move it around to get where she needs to be to punch people in the face!”
JOHN CABLE: “Well… it’s not too late.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Very true. Very True!” he says as a grin spreads across his worried face. John turns and points back to the object.
JOHN CABLE: “But that… yeah man, I don’t know about that.”
THE Tristan Slater looks back at the item in question.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Are you sure? It has a handle on it and everything. It seems like it would be easy to use.”
JOHN CABLE: “Yeah but I’m not so sure the girth of that is meant for the human body… even his.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “What?!?! After everything that dude has had to say over the last several weeks? IF you ask me it’s not big enough… but it happens to be the biggest I’ve ever seen.
JOHN CABLE: “Ah so you have experience in this sort of… purchase? Research?”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Oh fuck off!”
JOHN CABLE: “Hey man… like Paulina said… it’s almost 2023 papi… and if that’s your thing I won’t judge.”
THE Tristan Slater lashes out at John playfully.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You’re lucky I don’t punch you in the face.”
JOHN CABLE: “You can try if you want to…”
Okay so what you might not know about John and me is how we’ve not always been friends. Our relationship has had many strains throughout the last decade but even with the Street Fights or the black eyes our bond rests with every time I’ve needed advice, every time I’ve strayed away from walking that fine line he’s been there to reel me back in. Every now and then tempers might flare but ultimately cooler heads will always prevail between us. It’s a weird component to our relationship as a whole.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You’re lucky we’re in this fine adult establishment.”
JOHN CABLE: “We can always step outside if you need?”
A sales clerk enters the frame.
CLERK: “Can I help you gentleman?”
THE Tristan Slater smirks at John before turning toward the sales clerk; a white guy in mid twenties rocking a Def Leppard vintage t-shirt along with some older white washed jeans.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “As a matter of fact you can, I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”
CLERK : “Patrick.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Ah okay, Patrick, so my large friend here is in the market for the biggest dildo you’ve got in stock, apparently my man is interested in… well… you know…”
John shoves THE Tristan Slater.
JOHN CABLE: “The fuck I am!” he says disgustedly at his partner.
THE Tristan Slater responds with a laugh as he looks at his tag team partner.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Easy big fella, no need to get all uppity because nobody here is judging you for the needs you want to have filled.”
THE Tristan Slater turns his attention back to Patrick.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “We were curious why this one has a handle on it.”
WHACK!
THE Tristan Slater hits the floor hard as he’s decked from the side by John Cable! THE Tristan Slater clutches left eye as he gets to a seated position.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “It never gets old.”
John reaches down helping THE Tristan Slater back up to his feet. John dusts off Slater’s shoulders.
JOHN CABLE: “Next time… stop while you’re ahead.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Patrick… as I was saying, my friend here wants something that will leave a lasting impression and the handle on this thing makes me think lightsaber over dildo.”
The camera pans back revealing a 16 inch long, 6 inch thick, bright blue silicone dildo with a wooden handle displayed there.
THE Tristan Slater: “My friend here is trying to say we have a mutual friend that has a thing for butt stuff from his girl. I think this is too big and my friend here thinks there’s no such thing. Personally I think if we send him this he’s going to use it on himself so when I stick my foot up his ass it will slide right in.” Slater chimes in. “And where is the fun with anything loose, am I right?”
Patrick stands in utter bewilderment.
JOHN CABLE: “That’s nasty.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “But is it though?”
John simply shakes his head.
PATRICK: “So do you actually want the toy, or not, because honestly… This is all kinds of awkward.”
THE Tristan Slater turns toward The Beast.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “You know, now that I think about it you’re right. He was already fucked when they announced this match. The only thing we need to do is show up and do what the Glorious New Breed does best.”
THE Tristan Slater directs his attention back toward Patrick.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Ya know Patrick, I think we’re good. We’ll just fuck him ourselves.”
JOHN CABLE: “That totally didn’t sound right.”
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “I totally don’t care.“
THE Tristan Slater pats Patrick on the shoulder as he passes by.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: “Thanks for your help. Have a great day.”
THE Tristan Slater kisses him on the cheek as he exits the screen leaving John looking at a very confused employee.
JOHN CABLE: “I’m sorry about that. He is… well… he’s eccentric. Have a good day though… sorry.”
____________________
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had a lot of fun dunking on the two of you like it’s going out of style… but this is the part where the jokes end and we get down to business. This is all fun and games for the two of you but has a completely different meaning to us. We are on a quest to be labeled as the best team on the Super Show circuits, but in order to get there we must first establish ourselves. The GLORIOUS movement started at the Cannabis Cup, and that train is going to continue rolling through the Tara Fenix Charity Event at your expenses. We thrive on taking every opportunity and making the most of it while it seems to be that both of you squander yours while doing nothing of any notoriety.
You could say the same thing about the two of us too, I guess.
So essentially this turns into a must win for each of us, right? If that’s truly the case then I feel like you both have WAY more to prove than we do. We’ve gone into battle against some of the best Japan has to offer, and I mean this is the nicest possible way… you two don’t even compare to our last victims. You’re both generic, and in Paul’s case a lesser talented Montrouri. Sure, you’ve probably heard that many times over your career and I’d imagine you’ll try to laugh it off but in YOUR case not only is it true it eats you up inside.
Michelle can only carry you so far, my man.
Speaking of Michelle, kudos for being the dominant force in that relationship. It’s good to see a woman take charge of a situation. It is… but unfortunately for you, your time in the sun has come and gone. We now have ourselves a collision course where true dominance is going to be established. Good thing for you is that when it comes to the Man Beast and the GLORIOUS one your dominance will not only be matched but it will be surpassed. You’ll be begging to go back to the minor leagues after this brush with greatness, and I promise you that unlike Paulie… we won’t leave you disappointed. Safe to say on a level of one to ten you’re hitting a full tilt on just how screwed you’ve become. There’s no force of nature or act of God that’s going to stop the GLORIOUS NEW BREED on our path to putting our dream into a reality. Be grateful that you’ve had this opportunity, learn from it so in the future you can successfully call yourselves a legitimate Tag Team over a couple of glorified enhancement talents.
My name is THE Tristan Slater… and I approve this message.
