Post by thesebempire on Oct 29, 2021 17:20:34 GMT -5
“Does anyone actually know how to get to the Bridge?” Asked Sebastian Everett-Bryce the Third. It was an important question and yet… Silence. Brilliant, they were ignoring him over the radio now, not just in team meetings. And then he thought back to the last meeting and rolled his eyes. “Does anyone actually know how to get to the Bridge? Over.”
“I think we passed a br-” Came Bert’s voice through the radio, but then there was a moment of silence before he finally came back. "Nevermind, Ahmya said that was a dock, yo. Over."
Seb closed his eyes and reached up to rub, ironically, the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and lifted the radio to his mouth in order to respond with a typically snarky comment, when he saw a sign that read “Bridge”.
“Oh.” Said Seb, looking around. “Well that was unnecessarily easy.”
Hijack the Cruise Ship - that was the plan. Make an impact by making an impact. It was a fantastic idea, one that Seb genuinely believed was entirely his own idea. The fact that it had been through something of a workshop and developed into the hijack idea was entirely lost upon the final member of Team Atara.
It should also be highlighted that Sebastian had either misunderstood the concept of modern-day piracy, or had in fact chosen to be willfully ignorant. He stood beside the door in full regalia - the leather pantaloons, the long black boots, a long coat over which was a leather ammunition holder and most importantly a tri-corner hat. He even had a cutlass and a pair of incredibly realistic looking flintlock pistols.
He took a moment to prepare himself with his eyes closed and finally knocked loudly upon the heavy metal door. After a few moments, it opened.
“No passengers - crew only.” Said the man inside.
“My good sir, I only wished to chance a look at the helm of this magnificent vessel.” Seb said, leaning forward slightly. “From one captain to another…”
“You’re drunk. And the Halloween party hasn’t even started yet.” Said the crew member. “Now be on your way before I have you arrested.”
“Let’s not be hasty.” Said Seb, holding up his hands in protest. “Just a little peek, I’ll be in and out before you know it…”
“I said… Go!” Said the crewmember advancing on Seb. Within a moment Seb had the two flintlock pistols out of his holsters and held them up at the crew member.
“Shall we try this again?” Seb asked.
“What the hell do you want?!” Asked the crewmember.
“Let’s step inside and chat about it, hmm?” Seb asked, pointing inside the door with the second pistol. The crewmember raised his arms in the air in surrender and slowly stepped inside.
“Who the hell was tha…” Asked another voice from the Bridge. “What’s he doing in here?”
“He has a gun!” Said the first crew member.
“Two actually, so don’t get any ideas.” Seb said, before pointing to the third and final member of the crew on the bridge. “You, lock all the doors.”
“Are they… Flintlocks?” Asked the second crewmember, hereon in called “two”. “One shot in each, and three of us.”
“Yes, mate.” Said Seb, slipping into full pirate mode. “But after I’ve shot two of you, I’m pretty confident I could take on the third with this…”
Seb reached down and tried to pull out his cutlass but he had a flintlock in each hand. As he tried to pull the cutlass out, one of the flintlocks slipped. He juggled for a second before catching it, just in time to see “two” advancing on him.
“Who the hell are you? What do you want?” Asked two. He was clearly the senior.
“My name’s Sebastian Everett-Bryce… The Third…”
“You are absolutely the worst hijacker I’ve ever heard of…” Two said.
“But you have heard of me…” Seb said with a wink.
“I think he’s quoting Pirates of the Caribbean.” whispered Three.
“The one and only.” Seb said with a smirk. “As for what we want, well - it’s simple really. We’re just here to make a point about our match on Monday night.”
Two rolled his eyes, almost audibly.
“I should have known - you’re one of the wrestlers.” He said.
“Yes I am.” Said Seb incredulously. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“What?” Asked Two.
“One of the wrestlers..” Seb replied moving slowly towards him, the pistol still pointed at his chest. “Feels a tad disrespectful.”
“No, I’m just… Well you people are known to be a little… Over the top. Dramatic.” Said Two.
“Yeah.” Said one. “A little… much.”
“Us?!” Said Seb, in protest. “I think you’ve picked the wrong team for that little assumption, friend. You’ll be thinking about Team Raven.”
“I think we’re talking about all of you to be honest.” Said Two. Three nodded along.
“No, no. We’re entirely serious - for god sake, for example, our captain is currently seducing your captain while we cause distractions.”
“Your Captain is trying to seduce our captain?” Asked Three. Seb looked momentarily concerned, realising he probably shouldn’t have revealed the entire plan.
“Yes. I know, I know… Clearly she should have been here entertaining you chaps and I should have been the one doing the seduction but I was outvoted. It’s a travesty if you ask me…” Seb said, staring off into the distance. “I’d have been magnificent.”
“Oh you’re right, you’re not dramatic at all…” Said Two.
“I’m starting to dislike your tone.” Seb said, waving the flintlock in his face a little.
“Alright, alright just… Aim that thing somewhere else.” Two said.
“Ha!” Said Seb, triumphantly. “That is NOT what The Captain would have said.”
“Which one?” Asked One.
“Yours. Definitely yours. Ours is terrifying. Has a habit of eating the brains of her mates.” Seb said. “She and I have a healthy relationship in which I’ve not been murdered in my sleep.”
“See what I mean?” Two said, looking at One. “Dramatic.”
“Listen, skippy. You’ve got this all wrong. Team Atty are absolute professionals…” Seb began before pausing and slowly lifting up the radio. He blinked rapidly at the undeniable sounds of… Porn. “Uhm… Hello?”
“Ah fuck! Sorry!” Came the Scottish tones of Bruce before the radio cut off.
“Ah yes, professionals.” Said Two with a chuckle. Seb slowly raised his pistol into Two’s face.
“Alright, relax…” Said Two. “Look, I’m sorry, I wasn’t taking you seriously - but I am now.”
“Good.” Said Seb, leaning back against the console. “You’re not the first who’s failed to take me seriously. Even now, they’re all underestimating me.”
“Who?” Asked One.
“All of them… My own team. Our opponents - I know what they think. If I was the one, I’d have been chosen originally. Not some… Fill in... when Dolly dropped out.” Said Seb, drifting slightly before realising where he is.
The crewmen noticed him drifting and exchanged looks.
“Who’s the other team?” Asked Two. “I… I’m not much of a fan.”
“Team Raven…” Said Seb with a smirk. “There’s a couple of unknowns on there for me - that’s on me. I’ve spent two years in one place. Vhodka Black has talent, that’s undeniable. And she’s tough - she survived a fall down an elevator shaft for christ sake. Plus she can talk - she’s definitely a talker. But this is a new world for her, this team, these partners. They’re not her husband… You want to talk about drama? That’s a team filled to the brim with egos, and all egos that can back it up. But where Vhokda is concerned, I can’t help but imagine she’ll try to shine brighter than all the rest. But she’ll burn out, and she’ll be left behind, because if there’s one thing I know about Team Raven… They’re not going to sacrifice themselves for a fallen soldier.”
Three and One had slowly started to move away from Two, trying to create some space.
“You said there’s a couple you don’t know?” One asked, casting an eye at Two and then Three.
“Right, yes. Corey Black too - I’m not all that familiar with Action Wrestling. But his is a name that stands out. He beat James Raven. I take notice when that happens, mainly because I worry about that pretty, pretty face. It was a smart choice - pick those who can do you harm. Black beat Raven, so Raven picks him as a partner for the Cruise ship - it was an audition of sorts. And the King beat the Goat.” Seb said, looking at One. “Yes, he calls himself the King of all Wrestlers. I thought I had an ego.”
Seb allowed himself a chuckle.
“It’s an impressive moniker for sure, but I can’t help but believe that he’s trying to convince himself just as much as everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, beating Raven is an impressive feat. I haven’t yet had the privilege of trying, and yet since then… What? He was announced for this cruise and then… What? He talks… I’ve heard that. I think everyone’s heard him talk. But realistically, that’s all he does. It’s what we all do, there’s nothing that sets him apart. He’s just… There. A name chosen because Raven seems to think that beating him is a key to winning on this cruise. It’s a mistake I’ll be happy to correct.” Seb added looking around at the crewmen who have adjusted positions. “What are you…”
“And what about the ones you do know?” Two asked as One and Three made a couple of moves.
“What? Oh…” Seb said. “Yeah - Legacy. Or maybe they’re just the Legacy of Legacy now? Who can tell anymore - the three of them give me whiplash. Betsy was kind enough to offer me travel to this particular event before I found an alternative… What’s funny? I like them all. Betsy, Raven, Shawn… I’d even go as far as to say I’m a fan, shock horror. I mean who wouldn’t be? Betsy was the XWF Shooting Star Champion before Atara usurped her. And she’s consistently aligned with some of the very, very best that there is. That has to tell you something, right? I mean, she’s not getting dragged around because she’s Shawn’s friend and Raven’s better half. That would be ridiculous.”
Seb winked at Two.
“I have to ask though - does Raven really think that Betsy was the best choice he could get for his team? All the people he knows who have won World Championships and been successful everywhere they’ve been and he chooses Betsy who has a Shooting Star Championship to her name and was most recently disavowed from another company despite holding one of their championships. Does James really believe that Betsy is the one who is going to win this match for him? Or did she ask for her place a couple of seconds before his toes curled? Hey, I don’t know anything for sure, I’m just asking questions here.” Seb added holding up the pistols in a gesture of defence.
“Let’s be honest, it’s not like Raven isn’t above narcissism. He was most recently the General Manager of a company that chose to commit suicide rather than allow him to go forth with the self-felation that was naming himself the number one contender to the World Championship. Lest we forget, this is the same James Raven who already has multiple World Championships to his name. He didn’t need to name himself number one contender, we all know that he’s good enough to earn it. Instead, he took the easy way. The same way he did when picking his team - the easy choices. The same old, same old. Lazy. Ignorant.” Seb added.
“He won’t be able to ignore me come Monday. At least then, he can go back to his biweekly thirst trap and wave show on Twitter. I’m a follower - I love the thirst traps. But in reality, that’s what he is now. Just abs on social media and terrible decisions. Honestly, people usually move on from that phase, not move into it during the twilight of their career. This isn’t some nonsense threat about being the one to take him out. Not from me anyway. I’m already having to put down enough Raven’s against my will this month. But I will be a big part of the reason his team loses. When it’s over, I’ll even flash him my abs as a consolation prize.” Seb said with a smirk. He turned and furrowed his brow at Three. “Where are you go…”
“Anyone else?” Asked Two again, still stood in front of Seb.
“Oh yeah, there’s someone else. Shawn… Warstein.” Seb said with a hungry grin. “I’ve known him for about a year now, through a mutual friend. My best friend, in fact.
Seb paused to allow himself a moment to consider the recent back and forth between he and Sloane.
“But funnily enough, our only near miss came because of Atty. They were engaged at the time and I just happened to call her hot and weird, and he took offence to that. Challenged me to a fight. I accepted and then… It just fizzled away. A lesser man would assume that The War Stone was afraid of little old me, but I know better. Deep down, he knows it’s a fair fight. Two men that would take one another to new heights. And I honestly just don’t think he has that in him anymore. The Shawn I first came to know would burn entire companies down to the ground just for disrespecting him. He’d face up against some of the biggest talkers there are and he’d tear them down just for fun. The Shawn I first came to know was a Tyrant. He was a Universal Champion. He was a fucking collosus. And yet…” Seb shook his head with a touch of disappointment. “The merest scent of vagina and he’s tweeting about candle light dinners, moonlit walks and the things that can be done with a penis of various lengths depending on who exactly you speak to.“
He allowed himself a smirk for a moment.
“Yes, I've watched Shawn carefully. From XWF to Project Honor to Fight NYC. I’ve seen him courted by promotions and I’ve seen him challenged by almost everyone who has ever traded words with him. I’ve seen Shawn Warstein as one of the baddest men on this planet and I’ve seen him broken beyond any apparent help. I’ve seen him lose at Hungry Hippos and I’ve seen him win at Twister. I’ve seen more of Shawn Warstein than he’s ever cared to see in me. I’ve been looking forward to this fight for a long time, and for one reason and one reason only.”
Seb pushed away from the console and turned to look out at sea.
“Shawn Warstein doesn’t respect me - not really. I know that - I know he along with everyone else on that team were rubbing their hands together when Dolly left and was replaced with Seb. Everyone always thinks the same… From UGWC to PWValor… Everyone thinks I’m just the spoiled, silver-spoon brat from London. But what I really am is a Grand Slam winner. What I really am is undefeated in PWValor. What I really am is the Chelsea Crippler, The Mauler of Markham Square and whatever other nickname that anyone wants to add to my ever-growing list. But most of all, what I am is the reason that Team Atty is going to win on Monday night…”
“NOW!” Shouted Two, as One and Three strike, not allowing him a moment to think.
“HEY! What the… I thought we’d become friends!” Seb said as the arms wrapped around him. There was a loud clunk as the pistols hit the ground with a thud. Seb managed to wriggle free and pulled out his cutlass.
“Back! Back I tell you! You scurvy dogs!” Seb yelled as he waved the sword this way and that without any real clue about what he was doing. And then he heard the radio.
“... Only one teensy problem.” Seb heard, before lifting the radio to his lips.
“What’s that, Tony?” Seb asked, making a stabbing motion as Two picked up the pistols from the ground.
“Kinda, sorta, used too much c4 and ended up falling into the walk-in freezer in the kitchen. It’s locked from the outside, and my sausage and beans need a defrost. Fuck, it’s cold in here…”
“I have my own problems Tony…” Seb said. “This really would have gone much better if you’d just let me seduce the Captain.”
“We’ve been over this! You don’t have the legs for it!” Came Atty’s voice over the radio.
“Did she seem out of breath to you?” Seb asked the crew members. “Looks like it went better than I’d anticipated.”
“These pistols aren’t real... “ Said Two.
“Ah… Yes… Well…” Said Seb, pausing for a second. “Bye!”
He sprinted for the door and his freedom. All hope of an escape ended when he bounced off the heavy metal, suddenly remembering he’d asked for the bloody doors to be locked! A moment later, Seb was being frog-marched through the ship. As they walked over a balcony, Seb glanced down and spotted what appeared to be a half-naked Atara running across the deck. A moment later, she plunged over the side of the ship into the sea below.
“Perhaps not as well as I’d hoped.” Seb said before slowly realising that every screen on the entire ship was now playing the same porn he’d heard earlier. “Brilliant.”
And with that Seb was resigned to his fate as a maritime criminal. A real, honest to god, pirate.
“I think we passed a br-” Came Bert’s voice through the radio, but then there was a moment of silence before he finally came back. "Nevermind, Ahmya said that was a dock, yo. Over."
Seb closed his eyes and reached up to rub, ironically, the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and lifted the radio to his mouth in order to respond with a typically snarky comment, when he saw a sign that read “Bridge”.
“Oh.” Said Seb, looking around. “Well that was unnecessarily easy.”
Hijack the Cruise Ship - that was the plan. Make an impact by making an impact. It was a fantastic idea, one that Seb genuinely believed was entirely his own idea. The fact that it had been through something of a workshop and developed into the hijack idea was entirely lost upon the final member of Team Atara.
It should also be highlighted that Sebastian had either misunderstood the concept of modern-day piracy, or had in fact chosen to be willfully ignorant. He stood beside the door in full regalia - the leather pantaloons, the long black boots, a long coat over which was a leather ammunition holder and most importantly a tri-corner hat. He even had a cutlass and a pair of incredibly realistic looking flintlock pistols.
He took a moment to prepare himself with his eyes closed and finally knocked loudly upon the heavy metal door. After a few moments, it opened.
“No passengers - crew only.” Said the man inside.
“My good sir, I only wished to chance a look at the helm of this magnificent vessel.” Seb said, leaning forward slightly. “From one captain to another…”
“You’re drunk. And the Halloween party hasn’t even started yet.” Said the crew member. “Now be on your way before I have you arrested.”
“Let’s not be hasty.” Said Seb, holding up his hands in protest. “Just a little peek, I’ll be in and out before you know it…”
“I said… Go!” Said the crewmember advancing on Seb. Within a moment Seb had the two flintlock pistols out of his holsters and held them up at the crew member.
“Shall we try this again?” Seb asked.
“What the hell do you want?!” Asked the crewmember.
“Let’s step inside and chat about it, hmm?” Seb asked, pointing inside the door with the second pistol. The crewmember raised his arms in the air in surrender and slowly stepped inside.
“Who the hell was tha…” Asked another voice from the Bridge. “What’s he doing in here?”
“He has a gun!” Said the first crew member.
“Two actually, so don’t get any ideas.” Seb said, before pointing to the third and final member of the crew on the bridge. “You, lock all the doors.”
“Are they… Flintlocks?” Asked the second crewmember, hereon in called “two”. “One shot in each, and three of us.”
“Yes, mate.” Said Seb, slipping into full pirate mode. “But after I’ve shot two of you, I’m pretty confident I could take on the third with this…”
Seb reached down and tried to pull out his cutlass but he had a flintlock in each hand. As he tried to pull the cutlass out, one of the flintlocks slipped. He juggled for a second before catching it, just in time to see “two” advancing on him.
“Who the hell are you? What do you want?” Asked two. He was clearly the senior.
“My name’s Sebastian Everett-Bryce… The Third…”
“You are absolutely the worst hijacker I’ve ever heard of…” Two said.
“But you have heard of me…” Seb said with a wink.
“I think he’s quoting Pirates of the Caribbean.” whispered Three.
“The one and only.” Seb said with a smirk. “As for what we want, well - it’s simple really. We’re just here to make a point about our match on Monday night.”
Two rolled his eyes, almost audibly.
“I should have known - you’re one of the wrestlers.” He said.
“Yes I am.” Said Seb incredulously. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“What?” Asked Two.
“One of the wrestlers..” Seb replied moving slowly towards him, the pistol still pointed at his chest. “Feels a tad disrespectful.”
“No, I’m just… Well you people are known to be a little… Over the top. Dramatic.” Said Two.
“Yeah.” Said one. “A little… much.”
“Us?!” Said Seb, in protest. “I think you’ve picked the wrong team for that little assumption, friend. You’ll be thinking about Team Raven.”
“I think we’re talking about all of you to be honest.” Said Two. Three nodded along.
“No, no. We’re entirely serious - for god sake, for example, our captain is currently seducing your captain while we cause distractions.”
“Your Captain is trying to seduce our captain?” Asked Three. Seb looked momentarily concerned, realising he probably shouldn’t have revealed the entire plan.
“Yes. I know, I know… Clearly she should have been here entertaining you chaps and I should have been the one doing the seduction but I was outvoted. It’s a travesty if you ask me…” Seb said, staring off into the distance. “I’d have been magnificent.”
“Oh you’re right, you’re not dramatic at all…” Said Two.
“I’m starting to dislike your tone.” Seb said, waving the flintlock in his face a little.
“Alright, alright just… Aim that thing somewhere else.” Two said.
“Ha!” Said Seb, triumphantly. “That is NOT what The Captain would have said.”
“Which one?” Asked One.
“Yours. Definitely yours. Ours is terrifying. Has a habit of eating the brains of her mates.” Seb said. “She and I have a healthy relationship in which I’ve not been murdered in my sleep.”
“See what I mean?” Two said, looking at One. “Dramatic.”
“Listen, skippy. You’ve got this all wrong. Team Atty are absolute professionals…” Seb began before pausing and slowly lifting up the radio. He blinked rapidly at the undeniable sounds of… Porn. “Uhm… Hello?”
“Ah fuck! Sorry!” Came the Scottish tones of Bruce before the radio cut off.
“Ah yes, professionals.” Said Two with a chuckle. Seb slowly raised his pistol into Two’s face.
“Alright, relax…” Said Two. “Look, I’m sorry, I wasn’t taking you seriously - but I am now.”
“Good.” Said Seb, leaning back against the console. “You’re not the first who’s failed to take me seriously. Even now, they’re all underestimating me.”
“Who?” Asked One.
“All of them… My own team. Our opponents - I know what they think. If I was the one, I’d have been chosen originally. Not some… Fill in... when Dolly dropped out.” Said Seb, drifting slightly before realising where he is.
The crewmen noticed him drifting and exchanged looks.
“Who’s the other team?” Asked Two. “I… I’m not much of a fan.”
“Team Raven…” Said Seb with a smirk. “There’s a couple of unknowns on there for me - that’s on me. I’ve spent two years in one place. Vhodka Black has talent, that’s undeniable. And she’s tough - she survived a fall down an elevator shaft for christ sake. Plus she can talk - she’s definitely a talker. But this is a new world for her, this team, these partners. They’re not her husband… You want to talk about drama? That’s a team filled to the brim with egos, and all egos that can back it up. But where Vhokda is concerned, I can’t help but imagine she’ll try to shine brighter than all the rest. But she’ll burn out, and she’ll be left behind, because if there’s one thing I know about Team Raven… They’re not going to sacrifice themselves for a fallen soldier.”
Three and One had slowly started to move away from Two, trying to create some space.
“You said there’s a couple you don’t know?” One asked, casting an eye at Two and then Three.
“Right, yes. Corey Black too - I’m not all that familiar with Action Wrestling. But his is a name that stands out. He beat James Raven. I take notice when that happens, mainly because I worry about that pretty, pretty face. It was a smart choice - pick those who can do you harm. Black beat Raven, so Raven picks him as a partner for the Cruise ship - it was an audition of sorts. And the King beat the Goat.” Seb said, looking at One. “Yes, he calls himself the King of all Wrestlers. I thought I had an ego.”
Seb allowed himself a chuckle.
“It’s an impressive moniker for sure, but I can’t help but believe that he’s trying to convince himself just as much as everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, beating Raven is an impressive feat. I haven’t yet had the privilege of trying, and yet since then… What? He was announced for this cruise and then… What? He talks… I’ve heard that. I think everyone’s heard him talk. But realistically, that’s all he does. It’s what we all do, there’s nothing that sets him apart. He’s just… There. A name chosen because Raven seems to think that beating him is a key to winning on this cruise. It’s a mistake I’ll be happy to correct.” Seb added looking around at the crewmen who have adjusted positions. “What are you…”
“And what about the ones you do know?” Two asked as One and Three made a couple of moves.
“What? Oh…” Seb said. “Yeah - Legacy. Or maybe they’re just the Legacy of Legacy now? Who can tell anymore - the three of them give me whiplash. Betsy was kind enough to offer me travel to this particular event before I found an alternative… What’s funny? I like them all. Betsy, Raven, Shawn… I’d even go as far as to say I’m a fan, shock horror. I mean who wouldn’t be? Betsy was the XWF Shooting Star Champion before Atara usurped her. And she’s consistently aligned with some of the very, very best that there is. That has to tell you something, right? I mean, she’s not getting dragged around because she’s Shawn’s friend and Raven’s better half. That would be ridiculous.”
Seb winked at Two.
“I have to ask though - does Raven really think that Betsy was the best choice he could get for his team? All the people he knows who have won World Championships and been successful everywhere they’ve been and he chooses Betsy who has a Shooting Star Championship to her name and was most recently disavowed from another company despite holding one of their championships. Does James really believe that Betsy is the one who is going to win this match for him? Or did she ask for her place a couple of seconds before his toes curled? Hey, I don’t know anything for sure, I’m just asking questions here.” Seb added holding up the pistols in a gesture of defence.
“Let’s be honest, it’s not like Raven isn’t above narcissism. He was most recently the General Manager of a company that chose to commit suicide rather than allow him to go forth with the self-felation that was naming himself the number one contender to the World Championship. Lest we forget, this is the same James Raven who already has multiple World Championships to his name. He didn’t need to name himself number one contender, we all know that he’s good enough to earn it. Instead, he took the easy way. The same way he did when picking his team - the easy choices. The same old, same old. Lazy. Ignorant.” Seb added.
“He won’t be able to ignore me come Monday. At least then, he can go back to his biweekly thirst trap and wave show on Twitter. I’m a follower - I love the thirst traps. But in reality, that’s what he is now. Just abs on social media and terrible decisions. Honestly, people usually move on from that phase, not move into it during the twilight of their career. This isn’t some nonsense threat about being the one to take him out. Not from me anyway. I’m already having to put down enough Raven’s against my will this month. But I will be a big part of the reason his team loses. When it’s over, I’ll even flash him my abs as a consolation prize.” Seb said with a smirk. He turned and furrowed his brow at Three. “Where are you go…”
“Anyone else?” Asked Two again, still stood in front of Seb.
“Oh yeah, there’s someone else. Shawn… Warstein.” Seb said with a hungry grin. “I’ve known him for about a year now, through a mutual friend. My best friend, in fact.
Seb paused to allow himself a moment to consider the recent back and forth between he and Sloane.
“But funnily enough, our only near miss came because of Atty. They were engaged at the time and I just happened to call her hot and weird, and he took offence to that. Challenged me to a fight. I accepted and then… It just fizzled away. A lesser man would assume that The War Stone was afraid of little old me, but I know better. Deep down, he knows it’s a fair fight. Two men that would take one another to new heights. And I honestly just don’t think he has that in him anymore. The Shawn I first came to know would burn entire companies down to the ground just for disrespecting him. He’d face up against some of the biggest talkers there are and he’d tear them down just for fun. The Shawn I first came to know was a Tyrant. He was a Universal Champion. He was a fucking collosus. And yet…” Seb shook his head with a touch of disappointment. “The merest scent of vagina and he’s tweeting about candle light dinners, moonlit walks and the things that can be done with a penis of various lengths depending on who exactly you speak to.“
He allowed himself a smirk for a moment.
“Yes, I've watched Shawn carefully. From XWF to Project Honor to Fight NYC. I’ve seen him courted by promotions and I’ve seen him challenged by almost everyone who has ever traded words with him. I’ve seen Shawn Warstein as one of the baddest men on this planet and I’ve seen him broken beyond any apparent help. I’ve seen him lose at Hungry Hippos and I’ve seen him win at Twister. I’ve seen more of Shawn Warstein than he’s ever cared to see in me. I’ve been looking forward to this fight for a long time, and for one reason and one reason only.”
Seb pushed away from the console and turned to look out at sea.
“Shawn Warstein doesn’t respect me - not really. I know that - I know he along with everyone else on that team were rubbing their hands together when Dolly left and was replaced with Seb. Everyone always thinks the same… From UGWC to PWValor… Everyone thinks I’m just the spoiled, silver-spoon brat from London. But what I really am is a Grand Slam winner. What I really am is undefeated in PWValor. What I really am is the Chelsea Crippler, The Mauler of Markham Square and whatever other nickname that anyone wants to add to my ever-growing list. But most of all, what I am is the reason that Team Atty is going to win on Monday night…”
“NOW!” Shouted Two, as One and Three strike, not allowing him a moment to think.
“HEY! What the… I thought we’d become friends!” Seb said as the arms wrapped around him. There was a loud clunk as the pistols hit the ground with a thud. Seb managed to wriggle free and pulled out his cutlass.
“Back! Back I tell you! You scurvy dogs!” Seb yelled as he waved the sword this way and that without any real clue about what he was doing. And then he heard the radio.
“... Only one teensy problem.” Seb heard, before lifting the radio to his lips.
“What’s that, Tony?” Seb asked, making a stabbing motion as Two picked up the pistols from the ground.
“Kinda, sorta, used too much c4 and ended up falling into the walk-in freezer in the kitchen. It’s locked from the outside, and my sausage and beans need a defrost. Fuck, it’s cold in here…”
“I have my own problems Tony…” Seb said. “This really would have gone much better if you’d just let me seduce the Captain.”
“We’ve been over this! You don’t have the legs for it!” Came Atty’s voice over the radio.
“Did she seem out of breath to you?” Seb asked the crew members. “Looks like it went better than I’d anticipated.”
“These pistols aren’t real... “ Said Two.
“Ah… Yes… Well…” Said Seb, pausing for a second. “Bye!”
He sprinted for the door and his freedom. All hope of an escape ended when he bounced off the heavy metal, suddenly remembering he’d asked for the bloody doors to be locked! A moment later, Seb was being frog-marched through the ship. As they walked over a balcony, Seb glanced down and spotted what appeared to be a half-naked Atara running across the deck. A moment later, she plunged over the side of the ship into the sea below.
“Perhaps not as well as I’d hoped.” Seb said before slowly realising that every screen on the entire ship was now playing the same porn he’d heard earlier. “Brilliant.”
And with that Seb was resigned to his fate as a maritime criminal. A real, honest to god, pirate.
