Post by themeccaofmanhood on Oct 20, 2022 12:05:35 GMT -5
*A voice is heard with a tone that could only be described as "if Blue Steel was a tone instead of a look”. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most Marvelous of them all? "It’s you Mike Mason”, replies a voice that’s clearly the same person who has just changed his octave to seem it was someone else.
The shot opens with The Marvelous One standing in one of his favorite spots, his bathroom mirror. He is nude, except for a short white towel that is tied around his waist. He looks at himself in the mirror, examining his face for any blemishes, but of course, there are none. The Mecca of Manhood picks up his ivory-handled hairbrush from his marble counter and begins brushing his hair. The President of Pump notices the camera checking out his chest, and pops his pecs a few times, causing the women of the viewing audience to begin audibly ovulating. *
These popping pecs that A-Cup sporting Sarah Wolf would love to have to fill out her training bra. A basic two who if she breastfed her child the poor thing would die of starvation. Her crotch is like Nick "at" Knight, old, played out, and reran.
*The Abdominal Adonis flexes his abs and runs his free hand up and down them, if you had a block of cheese, and he’d allow you to touch him, you could grade the aforementioned cheese on those abs. *
Speaking of fat slobs, Aaron Warthog has entered this battle royal. How disgusting his body is, I'd comment on how his tits are bigger than Apathy’s, but that BBW, big-busted whore is top heavier than Max Daemon with his over-inflated head. Aaron, you disgust and offend me in my core as a man. When I look at you I am reminded of the quote from Socrates, "No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.".
You are an embarrassment to the word and gender of man. I will take great pleasure in humiliating you and showing you the strength of what my beautiful body is capable of.
*The Titan puts the brush down and then begins to fill the sink with cold water, placing a washcloth into the sink. After turning the water off, he rubs his face with the cloth, wetting it like a girl’s panties when they see The Marvelous One. The Big Natty Daddy then begins to apply shaving cream to his face with a brush made from horsehair. *
Just look at these cheeks, the same cheeks that hold the magnificent teeth that I swear are not veneers, which give the most seductive smile. The same smile I’ll be wearing after I finish throwing everyone out of this battle royal like your father should have thrown you out onto the sheets before you wastes of sperm were ever conceived.
Speaking of Dads who should've finished on the sheets, Xavier Lux will be showing up with all his bitterness that's normally only found in a teenage girl who was runner-up for prom queen. Lux, you got more daddy issues than a day-shift stripper. After TFCC you can call me daddy, the Big Natty Daddy.
This isn't OCW or GCWA, so we all know Lux won't be much of a threat. Lux, I know that outside of those two places you are a lot like Holden Ross, extremely overrated and mediocre at best. You'd think I'd have spoken about Holden when I was talking about fat slobs with moobs, but Warthog had that covered.
*The President of Pump finishes covering his face with the cream and rinses the brush off in the sink. The Mecca of Manhood then picks up a shiny straight razor and begins to slowly, and smoothly shave his beautiful face. With a smooth, final stroke the Bod God finishes shaving his face and then rinses his razor off. The Titan of Tenacity drains the sink and washes his face off with cold water to close his pores. TM1 then applies a clear facial mask to tighten his skin and places whitening trays in his teeth. The tightness of his face and whitening trays impairs his speech a bit, but it is the price of beauty. *
Holden Ross, could use some of this to tighten up your flabby moobs. I know, you’re a big tough guy who trains all the martial arts. Please, I bet you can’t even spell M-M-A. You’re Brazilian Wax Jews Get Sued, will be useless when I lift your dumpy body over my head and toss you overboard.
*The Modern-Day Adonis pulls the trays from his mouth and places them into the sink. The water is turned back on, and Triple M rinses his mouth out. 3M smiles in the mirror and admires his beautiful white teeth. *
Finn, how do you like my smile? Much more beautiful than your permanent one.
T8M1 peels his facial mask off and discards it into the trash, he then dabs his face off with a wet cloth. Triple M pulls a pair of tweezers from a cabinet and begins examining his nose for any unsightly hairs. The Marvelous One sticks the tweezers into his nose, yanks out a long, dark hair, and holds the hair in the tweezers so that it can be focused on. *
Cholo, this nose hair really reminds me of you. Disgusting, useless, and needing disposed of.
T8he Sultan of Swole disposes of the hair into a wastebasket with a grotesque look on his face. TM1 lays the tweezers down on the counter and turns back to the mirror. For a moment The Bod God stares into the mirror at his marvelous face. The Big Natty Daddy leans forward and kisses his reflection in the mirror. The Mecca of Manhood leans back and stares at his reflection. *
Pure perfection, you are… simply marvelous.
