Team Page - Part One - Cruising For Chaos
Oct 20, 2022 18:49:07 GMT -5
raven, "Venom" Xavier Lux, and 1 more like this
Post by seb on Oct 20, 2022 18:49:07 GMT -5
Despite Sebastian Everett-Bryce’s well-known extravagant sense of drama, even he had to admit that perhaps he would have been better suited dressing in his Pirate Captain outfit once he’d arrived in Honolulu. The car ride from his New York home to Newark had been comfortable enough. He’d even been fairly comfortable with the attention gained whilst waiting for his flight. The eleven hour flight, however, complete with stick on moustache and goatee was less enamouring.
By the time his flight landed in Hawaii, Sebastian was quite over the entire Pirate theme and longed for his original choice - full Captain Birdseye regalia. Without the large bushy white beard of course. And yet, whenever he considered removing his costume, he thought back to the text message still stored upon his phone.
‘Hey Seb - I was just talking to James about how much fun it was last year to dress up as pirates, and he said it would be a great idea for Team CCPE this year too. Atty x’
As he recited the words over and over in his mind, before calming himself and maintaining the look.
As he stepped from the plane, he felt the eyes on him and off his frustration limited. Captain Everett-Bryce had arrived to lead his team on the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise - yes, this time he wouldn’t be some distraction. He wouldn’t be some afterthought. As he made his way through security to the baggage call, he had his chest puffed all the way out. He was Chris Page’s first pick and therefore he would take the reins and lead this team of scurvy dogs to victory.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Came a voice from Seb’s right as he walked towards the baggage carousel. Seb turned his eyes upon the small group that had gathered together. Seb looked each of them up and down one by one… Xavier Lux. Mark Flynn. Peter Vaughn and….
“James Raven…” Seb said quietly, with an undertone. He eyed his team mates for the Main Event of the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise - talented, powerful, legendary and most importantly. “... Not wearing a pirate outfit!”
“Why would I be wearing a pirate outfit? We still haven’t established why you are wearing a pirate outfit…” Said Raven, with a furrowed brow.
“Because, James Raven, your wife Atara Raven texted me and told me that you, James Raven, thought it was a fantastic idea to recreate the pirate look that our team, Team Atara Raven, wore last year.” Said Seb with indignation.
“Oh… Well that explains this.” Said James.
“Explains what?” Asked Seb, before James lifted up his phone and snapped a picture with his phone and began typing away at his screen.
“This is preposterous - how are we supposed to be a real team without dressing the same?” Asked Seb.
“By not dressing the same.” Replied Mark Flynn, glancing at Vaughn who let out a small chuckle.
“OR we could be incredibly lucky and find out that I, Sebastian Everett-Bryce, come prepared for all eventualities.” He said, reaching into his holdall and pulling out what looked like several tanned t-shirts. “Ta-da!”
He tossed them out one by one to each of the team one by one as they unfurled what was evidently a t-shirt that had been printed with James Raven’s naked torso.
“I’m not wearing this.” Replied Xavier Lux. “Is this some kind of joke to you?”
“Of course not! I’m trying to display team unity!” Seb replied. “Steering the ship - like a true captain!”
“And who exactly made you Cap…” Peter Vaughn began, but Raven stopped him with a look. Peter chuckled while Seb handed out the last shirt.
“And where’s mine?” Asked James Raven.
“Yours, James Raven? Well that’s simple - yours is beneath that fantastic cashmere sweater that for some reason you thought was a good idea in a tropical climate.” Said Seb.
“If I wear a tight t-shirt people try to touch the abs…” Said Raven.
“Ahhhh… Yeah…” Said the remaining five in unison.
“Alas! I have arrived! And now we can begin to plan to mash that potato and his five bean salad accompaniment! At the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise!” Said Seb with a nod.
“Why are you talking about Hitmaker? We’re not even facing Team Hitmaker.” Said Lux, shaking his head.
“Oh… Wait… What?” Said Seb. “I was in the Whatsapp group and I clearly remember the five of us discussing at least fifteen different potato based puns that we could use.”
“I muted that chat the moment you added me in.” Said Lux. “Please tell me you all know that we’re not facing HYE?”
“Well… You know… I had a baby and a wedding…” Said James Raven.
“I’ve been busy - you know, defending my Supercontinental Championship.” Added Vaughn.
“And I won the XWF Universal Championship, so… Little preoccupied.” Replied Flynn.
“I’m sorry, can I just clarify that we’re not facing Johnny and the Croquettes?” Seb asked.
“Did you just ask that question so you could use another potato pun?” Asked Raven.
“Why yes I did, James Raven, thank you so much for noticing.” Said Seb. “But seriously, I brought visual aids aimed at making fun of Johnny.
“Me too.” Said Vaughn. “I had an entire thing planned.”
“So who exactly are we facing on this Cruise?” Seb asked.
“Are you serious? It’s not a cruise…” Said Lux.
“What he means is that it’s not… Just a cruise.” Said Raven, casting Lux a look that said ‘let’s not spoil all of the fun’. “It’s an epic cruise!”
“Sounds like my kind of party!” Said Seb with a smirk. “Let me grab my bags and we can get to the ship!”
“Well here’s the thing…” Said Pete, clearly catching on to Raven’s thinking. “We’ve not been told where it is.”
“It will be at the marina… Obviously…” Said Seb, looking towards Flynn and giving him a ‘get a load of this guy’ kind of look.
“No, what he means is that Chris hasn’t managed to let us know where our mooring is - so we were hoping you, as our captain, could head down to the docks, find the ship and get us all set up…” Said Flynn.
“Oh… Well… Of course!” Said Seb, triumphantly. “That sounds like a fantastic plan!”
“Exactly - and that way, we can all try and figure out what we do now that we’re facing…” James Raven said, before turning to look at Xavier Lux who shook his head, clearly bewildered by the buffoonery.
“Team Corey Black…” He responded.
“Oh! Corey! I eliminated him last year!” Said Seb.
“I remember that. Just before I eliminated you.” Replied Raven.
“Alright, James Raven, no-one asked for a history lesson.” Said Seb. “I’ll collect my bags, and get down to the docks - I shall update the Whatsapp with my findings! Tally-ho!”
As Seb wandered off into the distance, Pete turned to the rest of the group.
“Does he really not know that it’s not a Cruise this year?” He asked.
“Nope.” Said James. “Glorious isn’t it?”
“Is anyone else concerned about sending a fully grown man down to the docks dressed as a Pirate?” Asked Flynn.
“Less concerned, more delighted.” Replied James Raven as Seb dragged his heavy suitcase from the carousel.
Upon approaching the docks, Sebastian Everett-Bryce couldn’t help but notice the absence of anything that looked like a Cruise ship at all. Could it be that he’d come to the wrong dock? Or perhaps this was some kind of cruel practical joke that was being played on…
“That your ship?” Asked the Taxi driver. Seb cast an eye in the direction of the large Cruiseliner that was moored at the end of the docks.
“It must be! I don’t see any other ships around, do you?” Asked Seb.
“I don’t know, man - ain’t my ship.” Said the driver. Seb rolled his eyes as they pulled up to the dock.
“Is it just me or has the average age of wrestling fans increased somewhat exponentially in a very short time?” Seb asked as he eyed the vast number of elderly passengers that were milling around the dock and wandering up and down the gangplank. Is it called a gangplank? Pretty sure we call it a gang plank.
“Man what do you take me for?” Asked the driver as Seb handed over the cash. He pulled out his suitcase and turned back to the car to say his farewell. It was already pulling off into the distance.
“How rude…” Said Seb before fixing his hat into place and striding with purpose towards the, yes I’m going to say it again, gangplank. As he approached, a member of the ship’s crew stepped forward.
“Are you a passenger on this ship?” He asked.
“Um… Hello…” Said Seb, gesturing from his head to his toes in a low, sweeping motion. “Do I look like I belong on anything else but a luxury cruise liner?”
“Yes… You look like you belong anywhere BUT a luxury cruiseliner.” Said the crewmember.
“Why is everyone so rude today?” Seb asked. “Look, you’re obviously just trying to do your job but…”
“Are you part of the entertainment?” He asked.
“Well I would hardly call the headline name of…” Seb began.
“Entertainment staff are on the next gangplank down.” Said the crew member. “This is for passengers only.”
“Well if I’m on the ship am I not technically a passenger?” Asked Seb, looking victorious.
“Performers…” Said the Crew member with the utmost patience. “... use the next gangplank down.”
“Fine!” Said Seb with a flourish. “But let me be clear, I’ll be ensuring that I note this abominable treatment with your line manager!”
Seb hoisted his case into the air and began to walk towards the next entrance down.
“You know you can pull that on the little wheels?” The crewmember called after him.
“Yes I’m quite aware of that thank you!” Said Seb, having forgotten entirely, and now refusing to use them out of sheer stubbornness.
He reached the next entrance and found it to be deserted.
“Hellooooo… Sebastian Everett-Bryce… Star of Stage and Screen… The Main Event of the Main Event?” He called into the dark doorway.
“You with the show?” Called a voice from behind him. Seb turned around to see what looked like a roadie wrestling with a dolly cart upon which sat some speakers.
“Why yes… I am… My name is…” Seb began.
“Yeah, Serg, whatever - could you help me get the dolly over that lip there? If the speakers go overboard then the band is going to have to shout at the audience.” Said the roadie guy.
“Ohhh there’s a band! That should be fun!” Said Seb. “And it’s Seb.”
“Right… Yeah… Sen.” He replied as Seb leaned down and lifted gripped between the wheels of the dolly.
“No… Seb…” He corrected.
“Dude, I don’t care, can you just…” The guy said as he pushed the dolly over the lip, causing the speaker to thump Seb in the face. Seb turned on the spot, clutching his nose, his suitcase smacking into the side of the speakers which, one by one, tumbled off the side of the gangplank and down into the water. “What the fu…”
“Oh my - is that the time? I really have to… You know…” Seb turned on his heels and disappeared up through the door onto the ship, like a blur. He turned a corner and then another dodging past two bewildered looking crew men. “If you see a guy shouting about speakers, you haven’t seen me.”
They blinked rapidly until Seb felt himself collide with a large someone and bounce backwards onto the ground.
“You with the show?” Asked the voice. Seb looked up at the large Hawaiian man stood over him.
“Maui?” Seb asked, not just a little dazed. The large man hoisted him up and chuckled.
“No man, not Maui.” He said, holding Seb up. “Come with me.”
Seb shook his head, still feeling the effects of the collision as he was led into what appeared to be an auditorium.
“Who’s that?” Asked someone from the stage.
“No idea. But based on how he’s dressed, I guessed he was with you.” Said the large man still supporting his weight.
“Pirates? Come on man, you know better than that - the Pirate show doesn’t start until the New Year.” Said the voice from the stage.
“Honestly, I’m just looking for somewhere to get an Appletini…” Said Seb. The big guy and the stage guy exchanged a look.
“Took a bit of a bump in the hallway…” He said.
“Alright… Well… Are you part of the show?” Asked the guy on the stage.
“Yes! The show!” Said Seb, pushing away from the large man, and rushing onto what was apparently a stage. He reached out and cupped the face of the man stood before him. “Of course I’m part of the show - I’m Captain Seb Everett-Bryce!”
Seb allowed himself a flourish.
“And I plan on leading my motley crew into victorious battle against Captain Black’s scurvy dogs!” Said Seb, thrusting his finger into the air.
“Is he doing a bit?” Asked stage guy. Large Hawain guy shrugged his shoulders, but kept watching none the less.
“I was chosen by Admiral Page to lead the most talented of his roster into a fight with a human potato! Alas, fear of facing such a terrifying team turned him to mash, and that tuberous toddler turned tail and took flight! But where there is glory, there will always be those who chase destiny - and in his place stepped the Black Captain himself. We have a little history Cap’n Corey and I - but we’ll get to that later.” Said Seb winking at Maui-who-isn’t-really-Maui, who smirked.
“Alright that’s enough…” Said the stage guy.
“Nah - let him finish.” Said not-Maui. And given his size, he was unlikely to find much argument.
“This is no meagre group of ragtag raggamuffins, no! This is a carefully compiled crew of the best of the best, by all accounts. Take Gunner Park - twice decorated, and destined for greatness. A solid hand who can be relied upon by her Captain in a pinch. Not always the most liked - but who wants to be? Popularity doesn’t pay the bills - results do. And this, gunner, is one that guarantees the results. Like me, she wasn’t born to live the life of a pirate - she could have stayed home and let someone else pay her way. I may not have an awful lot of respect for who she is, but I can respect her fight. She reminds me of myself from some way back - but I’ll be more than happy to show her why I left her ways in my wake, and became the man you see before you today!” Seb added with a puffed out chest.
“You mean a thirty year old man pretending to be a pirate?” Asked the stage guy.
“How dare you?! I’m twenty eight!” Seb said.
“Keep going, man.” Said less-impressive-Maui.
“Right.” Said Seb, casting the stage guy a look. “And yet our Gunner doesn’t come alone! No, no - she has her very own mate! Regan Vorhees.”
“Vorhees like…” The stage guy began.
“Yes, like.... I’m sure she’s heard that a million times so let’s not get caught up in terrible jokes about her surname, okay?” Asked Seb, before shaking it off. “Now, where we. Ahh yes… Jason… Oh for god sake! See what you did?!”
The stage guy shook his head, while Not-So-Maui chuckled.
“Obviously, I’m talking about Regan - a name I’ve seen floating around in the ether for sometime. Not just for flirting with my adopted rival-cum-father, the other Raven. No - an impressive talent with a tongue as sharp as her wit and next to nothing to show for it. Barely one hundred days with gold in her hands, two thousand tweets and a clever name for their duo that makes them sound like a new pandemic. Do I doubt her ability? Oh no - in battle, she will be a formidable foe. Do I doubt her ability to best me? Of course - because I’m just better than she is.” Said Seb looking off into the middle distance.
“Is there an end to this or…?” Said the stage guy. Seb ignored him. Maui-Sans-Big-Hook-Thing pressed his large fingers into the guys shoulder - he’d likely be quieter from now on.
“Lest we not forget, the Captain is flanked by two dangerous warriors - his lieutenant and his rightenant…” Said Seb nodding.
“I don’t think thats a…” Started the stage guy, but the rest of his sentence was drowned by the groaning of agony.
“Tried, tested and true are the men he chooses to surround himself with - afterall, it was the same men he chose when facing our Admiral some months ago. I watched with some interest as Admiral Page brought with him messrs Montouri and Bane to face The Black Captain and his Kings of Faeces! And on that night, Captain Black and the Crap twins were of course… Victorious. So it stands to reason that, when challenged yet again by the might of our Admirals hand he would call upon those that stand tested and true - and yet, one reality remains. T’was not I who stood before the Captain that night.” Said Seb with a nod.
“That is not to call in to question the ferocious capabilities of my cohort Joe and Mac combined. But having watched Phoenix and Spencer standing at Corey’s side, I can’t help but think what could have been - three decorated names ripe for the picking. Three who have done their best to stop our unyielding voyage into the history books. And now, they stand before us again. The AW blockade doing much to prevent us from reaching our combined goal of infamy!” Said Seb with a swelling pride.
“It matters not which battles The Kings of Toilet matter have won before, they stand opposed by a Captain capable of unmatchable feats, and a crew destined for greatness. And while the roster assembled by their ill-fated captain is a strong one, there is but one single fact that remains true. This Captain has bested their Captian once before.” Said Seb with a smirk. “I hopes someone is recording this…”
“Yeah man!” Said Still-Not-Maui-But-At-This-Point-Lets-Just-Go-With-It!
“Oh good.” Said Seb with a smirk. “Hello Corey - remember me? It might be a little difficult. Last time we met, your eyes were rolling around in your head just before you were staring up at the lights. I know, I know - I’m not the first, and I won’t be the last. But it’s ironic, isn’t it? That it’s you and I stood face to face - mano e mano. Captain to Captain. Little has changed for you, in a year, has it? You took a little break - as you’re more than entitled to do. But now you’re back, and I guess momentum is what you’re looking for. But here’s the thing, Corey - don’t expect to get it on my back.” Said Seb with a smirk. “See, for me? Things are entirely different - the man you faced a year ago? He was on the cusp of a fall. It was big, Corey, I don’t mind telling you.”
Seb whistled.
“And part of that downfall started not long after I pinned you to that mat. James Raven beat me, and stole my moment. The moment that I’d held down so much hope for. But you know what they say, right? It’s always darkest before the dawn. And look at me now - one of the longest reigning UGWC Chaos Champions of all time. Undefeated in Level Up Wrestling since the day of my debut five months ago, number one contender for and the next… Level Up Wrestling Final Boss Champion. Right now, everything is coming up Seb.” He said with a nod as he bit his lip. “This match… It means the world to me. Because a year ago I made a decision to step outside of the comfort of my home and show the world everything that Sebastian Everett-Bryce is… I’ve done that and more. And now? I put an exclamation mark on that - when I beat you, and everyone else on your team. My Empire goes global - and I’ll make sure it’s on your back.”
“Alright, I’ll admit, that was pretty good.” Said the stage guy.
“Yeah man - give me your number and I’ll send it to you.” Said clearly-not-Maui.
“Oh… Nice!” Said Seb, as he started to look for his phone. As he did, a silence grew, that was suddenly split by a new voice.
“Him! That’s him! He knocked my speakers into the fucking sea!” Called the roadie guy from the edge of the door. Seb’s eyes widened as he saw him flanked by two large sailors.
“Maui! Cover me!” Said Seb.
“I’m not Ma… Oh forget it…” Said Okay-So-He’s-Definitely-Not-Maui. Seb turned on his heels and ran in the opposite direction, colliding with the door. He cast a look back behind him to see the large Hawaiian doing his level best to get in the way of the three men following him,
Seb turned this way and that, trying his best to take the least sensible path through the boat, doing everything he can to make sure he lost his would-be-capteurs. Finally, he crashed through a door and tumbled onto the ground. He picked himself up with a little hop and spun around to make sure no-one had seen anything.
Everyone had.
And yet, he finally found himself in the one place he’d been looking for. He wandered over to the bar and slipped onto stool. Breathing deeply he smiled at the bartender.
“An Appletini please…” He said.
“Sure.” Said the bartender, looking a little confused.
“Excuse me, sweetheart. What did you just order?”
Seb turned to face a sweet-looking old lady with a blue rinse and one of those strings attached to each arm of her glasses so she didn’t lose them.
“It’s an Appletini - Vodka and apple juice are the main ingredients, but if you’re really lucky, they’ll add some kind of apple cider or liqueur.” Said Seb, before his brow furrowed. As the barman returned and slipped the drink in front of him, he turned back to the lady. “If you don’t mind me saying, you don’t look like the usual demographic for a wrestling event…”
“A wrestling event?” She asked.
“Mmhmm.” Said Seb, as he finally lifted the green tinged Appletini to his lips. Before he could register either the response of the old lady, or the taste of his precious drink, he felt himself lifted bodily from his seat at the bar.
“No! No! Just one sip… Please!” He said as he stretched his lips towards the Martini glass before him. His tongue managed to just touch the emerald nectar when he was hoisted into the air and out of the nearest door.
“Not again! I can’t be arrested at sea again!” Said Seb, as his Pirate’s hat caught in the wind and lifted off his head. “My hat! Someone grab my hat!”
It hovered over the edge of the ship for a moment, taunting Seb before it drifted off into the distance leaving its owner to be carried with his toes just inches from the ground, as he began to have a loud and overly dramatic tantrum.
Sebastian Everett-Bryce, ladies and gentlemen.
The one and only.
By the time his flight landed in Hawaii, Sebastian was quite over the entire Pirate theme and longed for his original choice - full Captain Birdseye regalia. Without the large bushy white beard of course. And yet, whenever he considered removing his costume, he thought back to the text message still stored upon his phone.
‘Hey Seb - I was just talking to James about how much fun it was last year to dress up as pirates, and he said it would be a great idea for Team CCPE this year too. Atty x’
As he recited the words over and over in his mind, before calming himself and maintaining the look.
As he stepped from the plane, he felt the eyes on him and off his frustration limited. Captain Everett-Bryce had arrived to lead his team on the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise - yes, this time he wouldn’t be some distraction. He wouldn’t be some afterthought. As he made his way through security to the baggage call, he had his chest puffed all the way out. He was Chris Page’s first pick and therefore he would take the reins and lead this team of scurvy dogs to victory.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Came a voice from Seb’s right as he walked towards the baggage carousel. Seb turned his eyes upon the small group that had gathered together. Seb looked each of them up and down one by one… Xavier Lux. Mark Flynn. Peter Vaughn and….
“James Raven…” Seb said quietly, with an undertone. He eyed his team mates for the Main Event of the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise - talented, powerful, legendary and most importantly. “... Not wearing a pirate outfit!”
“Why would I be wearing a pirate outfit? We still haven’t established why you are wearing a pirate outfit…” Said Raven, with a furrowed brow.
“Because, James Raven, your wife Atara Raven texted me and told me that you, James Raven, thought it was a fantastic idea to recreate the pirate look that our team, Team Atara Raven, wore last year.” Said Seb with indignation.
“Oh… Well that explains this.” Said James.
“Explains what?” Asked Seb, before James lifted up his phone and snapped a picture with his phone and began typing away at his screen.
“This is preposterous - how are we supposed to be a real team without dressing the same?” Asked Seb.
“By not dressing the same.” Replied Mark Flynn, glancing at Vaughn who let out a small chuckle.
“OR we could be incredibly lucky and find out that I, Sebastian Everett-Bryce, come prepared for all eventualities.” He said, reaching into his holdall and pulling out what looked like several tanned t-shirts. “Ta-da!”
He tossed them out one by one to each of the team one by one as they unfurled what was evidently a t-shirt that had been printed with James Raven’s naked torso.
“I’m not wearing this.” Replied Xavier Lux. “Is this some kind of joke to you?”
“Of course not! I’m trying to display team unity!” Seb replied. “Steering the ship - like a true captain!”
“And who exactly made you Cap…” Peter Vaughn began, but Raven stopped him with a look. Peter chuckled while Seb handed out the last shirt.
“And where’s mine?” Asked James Raven.
“Yours, James Raven? Well that’s simple - yours is beneath that fantastic cashmere sweater that for some reason you thought was a good idea in a tropical climate.” Said Seb.
“If I wear a tight t-shirt people try to touch the abs…” Said Raven.
“Ahhhh… Yeah…” Said the remaining five in unison.
“Alas! I have arrived! And now we can begin to plan to mash that potato and his five bean salad accompaniment! At the Tara Fenix Charity Cruise!” Said Seb with a nod.
“Why are you talking about Hitmaker? We’re not even facing Team Hitmaker.” Said Lux, shaking his head.
“Oh… Wait… What?” Said Seb. “I was in the Whatsapp group and I clearly remember the five of us discussing at least fifteen different potato based puns that we could use.”
“I muted that chat the moment you added me in.” Said Lux. “Please tell me you all know that we’re not facing HYE?”
“Well… You know… I had a baby and a wedding…” Said James Raven.
“I’ve been busy - you know, defending my Supercontinental Championship.” Added Vaughn.
“And I won the XWF Universal Championship, so… Little preoccupied.” Replied Flynn.
“I’m sorry, can I just clarify that we’re not facing Johnny and the Croquettes?” Seb asked.
“Did you just ask that question so you could use another potato pun?” Asked Raven.
“Why yes I did, James Raven, thank you so much for noticing.” Said Seb. “But seriously, I brought visual aids aimed at making fun of Johnny.
“Me too.” Said Vaughn. “I had an entire thing planned.”
“So who exactly are we facing on this Cruise?” Seb asked.
“Are you serious? It’s not a cruise…” Said Lux.
“What he means is that it’s not… Just a cruise.” Said Raven, casting Lux a look that said ‘let’s not spoil all of the fun’. “It’s an epic cruise!”
“Sounds like my kind of party!” Said Seb with a smirk. “Let me grab my bags and we can get to the ship!”
“Well here’s the thing…” Said Pete, clearly catching on to Raven’s thinking. “We’ve not been told where it is.”
“It will be at the marina… Obviously…” Said Seb, looking towards Flynn and giving him a ‘get a load of this guy’ kind of look.
“No, what he means is that Chris hasn’t managed to let us know where our mooring is - so we were hoping you, as our captain, could head down to the docks, find the ship and get us all set up…” Said Flynn.
“Oh… Well… Of course!” Said Seb, triumphantly. “That sounds like a fantastic plan!”
“Exactly - and that way, we can all try and figure out what we do now that we’re facing…” James Raven said, before turning to look at Xavier Lux who shook his head, clearly bewildered by the buffoonery.
“Team Corey Black…” He responded.
“Oh! Corey! I eliminated him last year!” Said Seb.
“I remember that. Just before I eliminated you.” Replied Raven.
“Alright, James Raven, no-one asked for a history lesson.” Said Seb. “I’ll collect my bags, and get down to the docks - I shall update the Whatsapp with my findings! Tally-ho!”
As Seb wandered off into the distance, Pete turned to the rest of the group.
“Does he really not know that it’s not a Cruise this year?” He asked.
“Nope.” Said James. “Glorious isn’t it?”
“Is anyone else concerned about sending a fully grown man down to the docks dressed as a Pirate?” Asked Flynn.
“Less concerned, more delighted.” Replied James Raven as Seb dragged his heavy suitcase from the carousel.
Upon approaching the docks, Sebastian Everett-Bryce couldn’t help but notice the absence of anything that looked like a Cruise ship at all. Could it be that he’d come to the wrong dock? Or perhaps this was some kind of cruel practical joke that was being played on…
“That your ship?” Asked the Taxi driver. Seb cast an eye in the direction of the large Cruiseliner that was moored at the end of the docks.
“It must be! I don’t see any other ships around, do you?” Asked Seb.
“I don’t know, man - ain’t my ship.” Said the driver. Seb rolled his eyes as they pulled up to the dock.
“Is it just me or has the average age of wrestling fans increased somewhat exponentially in a very short time?” Seb asked as he eyed the vast number of elderly passengers that were milling around the dock and wandering up and down the gangplank. Is it called a gangplank? Pretty sure we call it a gang plank.
“Man what do you take me for?” Asked the driver as Seb handed over the cash. He pulled out his suitcase and turned back to the car to say his farewell. It was already pulling off into the distance.
“How rude…” Said Seb before fixing his hat into place and striding with purpose towards the, yes I’m going to say it again, gangplank. As he approached, a member of the ship’s crew stepped forward.
“Are you a passenger on this ship?” He asked.
“Um… Hello…” Said Seb, gesturing from his head to his toes in a low, sweeping motion. “Do I look like I belong on anything else but a luxury cruise liner?”
“Yes… You look like you belong anywhere BUT a luxury cruiseliner.” Said the crewmember.
“Why is everyone so rude today?” Seb asked. “Look, you’re obviously just trying to do your job but…”
“Are you part of the entertainment?” He asked.
“Well I would hardly call the headline name of…” Seb began.
“Entertainment staff are on the next gangplank down.” Said the crew member. “This is for passengers only.”
“Well if I’m on the ship am I not technically a passenger?” Asked Seb, looking victorious.
“Performers…” Said the Crew member with the utmost patience. “... use the next gangplank down.”
“Fine!” Said Seb with a flourish. “But let me be clear, I’ll be ensuring that I note this abominable treatment with your line manager!”
Seb hoisted his case into the air and began to walk towards the next entrance down.
“You know you can pull that on the little wheels?” The crewmember called after him.
“Yes I’m quite aware of that thank you!” Said Seb, having forgotten entirely, and now refusing to use them out of sheer stubbornness.
He reached the next entrance and found it to be deserted.
“Hellooooo… Sebastian Everett-Bryce… Star of Stage and Screen… The Main Event of the Main Event?” He called into the dark doorway.
“You with the show?” Called a voice from behind him. Seb turned around to see what looked like a roadie wrestling with a dolly cart upon which sat some speakers.
“Why yes… I am… My name is…” Seb began.
“Yeah, Serg, whatever - could you help me get the dolly over that lip there? If the speakers go overboard then the band is going to have to shout at the audience.” Said the roadie guy.
“Ohhh there’s a band! That should be fun!” Said Seb. “And it’s Seb.”
“Right… Yeah… Sen.” He replied as Seb leaned down and lifted gripped between the wheels of the dolly.
“No… Seb…” He corrected.
“Dude, I don’t care, can you just…” The guy said as he pushed the dolly over the lip, causing the speaker to thump Seb in the face. Seb turned on the spot, clutching his nose, his suitcase smacking into the side of the speakers which, one by one, tumbled off the side of the gangplank and down into the water. “What the fu…”
“Oh my - is that the time? I really have to… You know…” Seb turned on his heels and disappeared up through the door onto the ship, like a blur. He turned a corner and then another dodging past two bewildered looking crew men. “If you see a guy shouting about speakers, you haven’t seen me.”
They blinked rapidly until Seb felt himself collide with a large someone and bounce backwards onto the ground.
“You with the show?” Asked the voice. Seb looked up at the large Hawaiian man stood over him.
“Maui?” Seb asked, not just a little dazed. The large man hoisted him up and chuckled.
“No man, not Maui.” He said, holding Seb up. “Come with me.”
Seb shook his head, still feeling the effects of the collision as he was led into what appeared to be an auditorium.
“Who’s that?” Asked someone from the stage.
“No idea. But based on how he’s dressed, I guessed he was with you.” Said the large man still supporting his weight.
“Pirates? Come on man, you know better than that - the Pirate show doesn’t start until the New Year.” Said the voice from the stage.
“Honestly, I’m just looking for somewhere to get an Appletini…” Said Seb. The big guy and the stage guy exchanged a look.
“Took a bit of a bump in the hallway…” He said.
“Alright… Well… Are you part of the show?” Asked the guy on the stage.
“Yes! The show!” Said Seb, pushing away from the large man, and rushing onto what was apparently a stage. He reached out and cupped the face of the man stood before him. “Of course I’m part of the show - I’m Captain Seb Everett-Bryce!”
Seb allowed himself a flourish.
“And I plan on leading my motley crew into victorious battle against Captain Black’s scurvy dogs!” Said Seb, thrusting his finger into the air.
“Is he doing a bit?” Asked stage guy. Large Hawain guy shrugged his shoulders, but kept watching none the less.
“I was chosen by Admiral Page to lead the most talented of his roster into a fight with a human potato! Alas, fear of facing such a terrifying team turned him to mash, and that tuberous toddler turned tail and took flight! But where there is glory, there will always be those who chase destiny - and in his place stepped the Black Captain himself. We have a little history Cap’n Corey and I - but we’ll get to that later.” Said Seb winking at Maui-who-isn’t-really-Maui, who smirked.
“Alright that’s enough…” Said the stage guy.
“Nah - let him finish.” Said not-Maui. And given his size, he was unlikely to find much argument.
“This is no meagre group of ragtag raggamuffins, no! This is a carefully compiled crew of the best of the best, by all accounts. Take Gunner Park - twice decorated, and destined for greatness. A solid hand who can be relied upon by her Captain in a pinch. Not always the most liked - but who wants to be? Popularity doesn’t pay the bills - results do. And this, gunner, is one that guarantees the results. Like me, she wasn’t born to live the life of a pirate - she could have stayed home and let someone else pay her way. I may not have an awful lot of respect for who she is, but I can respect her fight. She reminds me of myself from some way back - but I’ll be more than happy to show her why I left her ways in my wake, and became the man you see before you today!” Seb added with a puffed out chest.
“You mean a thirty year old man pretending to be a pirate?” Asked the stage guy.
“How dare you?! I’m twenty eight!” Seb said.
“Keep going, man.” Said less-impressive-Maui.
“Right.” Said Seb, casting the stage guy a look. “And yet our Gunner doesn’t come alone! No, no - she has her very own mate! Regan Vorhees.”
“Vorhees like…” The stage guy began.
“Yes, like.... I’m sure she’s heard that a million times so let’s not get caught up in terrible jokes about her surname, okay?” Asked Seb, before shaking it off. “Now, where we. Ahh yes… Jason… Oh for god sake! See what you did?!”
The stage guy shook his head, while Not-So-Maui chuckled.
“Obviously, I’m talking about Regan - a name I’ve seen floating around in the ether for sometime. Not just for flirting with my adopted rival-cum-father, the other Raven. No - an impressive talent with a tongue as sharp as her wit and next to nothing to show for it. Barely one hundred days with gold in her hands, two thousand tweets and a clever name for their duo that makes them sound like a new pandemic. Do I doubt her ability? Oh no - in battle, she will be a formidable foe. Do I doubt her ability to best me? Of course - because I’m just better than she is.” Said Seb looking off into the middle distance.
“Is there an end to this or…?” Said the stage guy. Seb ignored him. Maui-Sans-Big-Hook-Thing pressed his large fingers into the guys shoulder - he’d likely be quieter from now on.
“Lest we not forget, the Captain is flanked by two dangerous warriors - his lieutenant and his rightenant…” Said Seb nodding.
“I don’t think thats a…” Started the stage guy, but the rest of his sentence was drowned by the groaning of agony.
“Tried, tested and true are the men he chooses to surround himself with - afterall, it was the same men he chose when facing our Admiral some months ago. I watched with some interest as Admiral Page brought with him messrs Montouri and Bane to face The Black Captain and his Kings of Faeces! And on that night, Captain Black and the Crap twins were of course… Victorious. So it stands to reason that, when challenged yet again by the might of our Admirals hand he would call upon those that stand tested and true - and yet, one reality remains. T’was not I who stood before the Captain that night.” Said Seb with a nod.
“That is not to call in to question the ferocious capabilities of my cohort Joe and Mac combined. But having watched Phoenix and Spencer standing at Corey’s side, I can’t help but think what could have been - three decorated names ripe for the picking. Three who have done their best to stop our unyielding voyage into the history books. And now, they stand before us again. The AW blockade doing much to prevent us from reaching our combined goal of infamy!” Said Seb with a swelling pride.
“It matters not which battles The Kings of Toilet matter have won before, they stand opposed by a Captain capable of unmatchable feats, and a crew destined for greatness. And while the roster assembled by their ill-fated captain is a strong one, there is but one single fact that remains true. This Captain has bested their Captian once before.” Said Seb with a smirk. “I hopes someone is recording this…”
“Yeah man!” Said Still-Not-Maui-But-At-This-Point-Lets-Just-Go-With-It!
“Oh good.” Said Seb with a smirk. “Hello Corey - remember me? It might be a little difficult. Last time we met, your eyes were rolling around in your head just before you were staring up at the lights. I know, I know - I’m not the first, and I won’t be the last. But it’s ironic, isn’t it? That it’s you and I stood face to face - mano e mano. Captain to Captain. Little has changed for you, in a year, has it? You took a little break - as you’re more than entitled to do. But now you’re back, and I guess momentum is what you’re looking for. But here’s the thing, Corey - don’t expect to get it on my back.” Said Seb with a smirk. “See, for me? Things are entirely different - the man you faced a year ago? He was on the cusp of a fall. It was big, Corey, I don’t mind telling you.”
Seb whistled.
“And part of that downfall started not long after I pinned you to that mat. James Raven beat me, and stole my moment. The moment that I’d held down so much hope for. But you know what they say, right? It’s always darkest before the dawn. And look at me now - one of the longest reigning UGWC Chaos Champions of all time. Undefeated in Level Up Wrestling since the day of my debut five months ago, number one contender for and the next… Level Up Wrestling Final Boss Champion. Right now, everything is coming up Seb.” He said with a nod as he bit his lip. “This match… It means the world to me. Because a year ago I made a decision to step outside of the comfort of my home and show the world everything that Sebastian Everett-Bryce is… I’ve done that and more. And now? I put an exclamation mark on that - when I beat you, and everyone else on your team. My Empire goes global - and I’ll make sure it’s on your back.”
“Alright, I’ll admit, that was pretty good.” Said the stage guy.
“Yeah man - give me your number and I’ll send it to you.” Said clearly-not-Maui.
“Oh… Nice!” Said Seb, as he started to look for his phone. As he did, a silence grew, that was suddenly split by a new voice.
“Him! That’s him! He knocked my speakers into the fucking sea!” Called the roadie guy from the edge of the door. Seb’s eyes widened as he saw him flanked by two large sailors.
“Maui! Cover me!” Said Seb.
“I’m not Ma… Oh forget it…” Said Okay-So-He’s-Definitely-Not-Maui. Seb turned on his heels and ran in the opposite direction, colliding with the door. He cast a look back behind him to see the large Hawaiian doing his level best to get in the way of the three men following him,
Seb turned this way and that, trying his best to take the least sensible path through the boat, doing everything he can to make sure he lost his would-be-capteurs. Finally, he crashed through a door and tumbled onto the ground. He picked himself up with a little hop and spun around to make sure no-one had seen anything.
Everyone had.
And yet, he finally found himself in the one place he’d been looking for. He wandered over to the bar and slipped onto stool. Breathing deeply he smiled at the bartender.
“An Appletini please…” He said.
“Sure.” Said the bartender, looking a little confused.
“Excuse me, sweetheart. What did you just order?”
Seb turned to face a sweet-looking old lady with a blue rinse and one of those strings attached to each arm of her glasses so she didn’t lose them.
“It’s an Appletini - Vodka and apple juice are the main ingredients, but if you’re really lucky, they’ll add some kind of apple cider or liqueur.” Said Seb, before his brow furrowed. As the barman returned and slipped the drink in front of him, he turned back to the lady. “If you don’t mind me saying, you don’t look like the usual demographic for a wrestling event…”
“A wrestling event?” She asked.
“Mmhmm.” Said Seb, as he finally lifted the green tinged Appletini to his lips. Before he could register either the response of the old lady, or the taste of his precious drink, he felt himself lifted bodily from his seat at the bar.
“No! No! Just one sip… Please!” He said as he stretched his lips towards the Martini glass before him. His tongue managed to just touch the emerald nectar when he was hoisted into the air and out of the nearest door.
“Not again! I can’t be arrested at sea again!” Said Seb, as his Pirate’s hat caught in the wind and lifted off his head. “My hat! Someone grab my hat!”
It hovered over the edge of the ship for a moment, taunting Seb before it drifted off into the distance leaving its owner to be carried with his toes just inches from the ground, as he began to have a loud and overly dramatic tantrum.
Sebastian Everett-Bryce, ladies and gentlemen.
The one and only.
