Post by Ashlynn Cassidy on Oct 27, 2021 20:36:25 GMT -5
PART 1: ICEBERG (PAST)
Here we are, less than 24 hours! The single biggest test, on the biggest stage you’ve ever had.
“No, I just got to breathe.” Ashlynn said aloud, in reply to her own thoughts.
Make or break, baby.
God, I need water.
The young brunette got up and chugged the water bottle by her bedside. It was full to begin with, it felt as if almost no time has passed and it’s already empty. She crushed the hollow plastic in her hand with a crunch before dropping it onto the floor.
Just…brea-
Ashlynn tried to close her eyes and calm down, but blinked almost immediately. She tried again.
Breat-
Not gonna help!
Ashlynn reached under her temporary mattress for her letter book, or diary, whatever, they’ve blended at this point. There’s a picture of a young boy that she recently made a cover photo. It was her biological son, who she’d been deemed unfit to raise. She stared at the photo for a few moments.
I mean, what if your breakdowns get passed down to him?
Fuck, it’ll be your fault.
But if it does? It might be a good thing to read, so why not? Hell, he may never even see it.
True…
She opened the book and began to write.
___
Zeke, guess what?
Soon, I leave to wrestle on a cruise! Cool right? Here’s the thing- I’ve always sort of hated water. I’ve swam in it, had photoshoots on a beach, sure! In the back of my mind though? Thought about drowning a few times. Freak accident, freak intentional drowning, same difference, as often as the other.
Hell, I tried to drown myself twice in a week last week.
I guess I better explain that one, huh?
___
***
It was Wednesday night at the Velvet Rabbit in New York City. That meant that it was Ladies night. The club was packed and the music was blaring. Zion Champion and FIGHT! starlet, Ashlynn Cassidy was swaying with the deafening rhythm of the music playing. All while in the midst of a crowd.
At least most of this crowd is just as out of it as you are. It’s less about you now. So at least there’s that?
Yes, Ash had definitely taken advantage of the night’s gimmick. She was nowhere near sober. She deliberately arrived around 9:30 to take advantage of the free drinks. She did have a busy day that day. She agreed to a couple of business/branding meetings, and she agreed to do a signing too, with maybe two days notice. She knew deep down that she was choosing to make herself busy, even though sometimes, like today, she wanted a break. She was doing this to herself.
Even deeper down? She knew that she HAD to.
***
Earlier that night..
As soon as she’d arrived, she’d made sure to gesture to the bartender to not draw attention.
God, I’m so lucky they deal with stars on the regular. They’re SO cool about this!
That didn’t stop a few wrestling aficionados from recognizing and crowd her a little. Ash put a hand up as the bartender looked as if they’re about to intervene. “It’s all good! I don’t mind!” Ash reassured the employee.
Yes you do. You definitely do.
Shh, it’ll only be another…twenty minutes tops!
You sure?
Yeah? I’m sure it’ll only take an autograph or something.
Smile then! Not too big though!
Ashlynn turned her body to face two young women and their male friend. The red-haired woman had a grin on her face. “Sorry, I meant to stop by at the signing but I never made it, buuut now that you’re here, and we’re here, sooo?”
“Of course!” Ashlynn smiled, because why wouldn’t she? She was a fan once. The other young woman, a dark haired, ponytailed woman who was clearly the most drunk of the lot. That, or she was unlike her friends and did not like wrestling. “I’ll take the picture” she slurred dryly, clumsily getting a hold of her friend’s phone. “Smile!”
Yeah, I know.
Oh god, is it convincing enough.
The gentleman chuckled to himself as he walked away. “Centurion’s gonna crush you.”
Really?
Well I mean, what did you expect Ash? Everyone knows Centurion, there’s a chance that he’s wrestled since before your first drink.
You know what? Sounds like a good idea.
Ashlynn raised her hand to alert the bartender. “Tab starts now, please!”
As she was about to start on her first drink, her phone buzzed. She took a moment to look at the notification, sighing, slipping the phone back into her pocket.
She took her first shot, slamming the glass back onto the bar counter. “Just…I’ll start with five more…”
***
She was sort of on autopilot as she danced, knocking into bodies as she swayed. “Ash! You having a good time?” A concerned voice brought her out of her daze. She became aware that she trapped herself among strangers in a crowd. She instinctively elbowed her way and staggered toward the voice, not even hearing or seeing the scoffs and judgmental eyerolls as she went. She soon ran right into none other than FIGHT! and The Life star Austin Ramsey. She stopped and steadied herself against him. “Heyyy, good tips tonight? I’m h-having a great time!”
Suddenly, a second phone buzz
Austin started to lead her away from the crowd and into a seat. “You sure? You kinda look like you’re not. At least fifteen of the Council of Austins agree. That’s a majority.”
Ashlynn waved it off with a goofy grin. “Just enjoying the luxuries of the Rabbit, no huge thing.” She chuckled to herself, “you know? I’ve always sorta judged people who lived like this every night…” Ash rambled, a bit loud as to be heard over the music. “I’ve never been this famous before! And I gotta say! I probably can’t be one of those people that does this a lot! But one night’s okay right?”
Austin just kind of watches her, concerned, but it wasn’t like he’d never been there before.
“I’m gonna be in the ring with a legend! Dude probably has been wrestling since I was in kindergarten! Everywhere you look in this industry everyone’s heard of him and can tell you how great he is. Probably knows more about wrestling than I know about everything, combined. God he’s old!”
“I’m sure you’ll do great!” Austin interjected, trying to be supportive.
“What if I don’t though? What if I- say what time is it?”
“11:45”
“I’m gonna go have some more drinks!” Ash announced, standing quickly to her feet.
“How much HAVE you had to drink?”
“Relax, Aussie! I haven’t had a drink in like…besides” Ashlynn took a deep breath, able to gather and steady herself as she walked straight and without falling. “See?”
Ashlynn disappeared into the club and found her way back to the bar. She held up three fingers and three glasses were brought to her. She downed one immediately.
She groaned as the alcohol burned her throat. She closed her eyes and took in the sounds of the bar. People partying and dancing to the music or the clinks of glasses from all the people who wished to drown themselves in alcohol, erase themselves just for a night. She took the second shot as she felt a third buzz from her phone. She took a look around and saw that there were people passed out against the bar counter, people sucking face or other body parts either publicly, or being led away into the “private areas.
Look at all these folks, so focused on letting go of all the stresses of life and instead of drowning in all of that, they chose to drown themselves in alcohol, or whatever. Just like you.
She finally downed the third shot. “Another round?”
“Gotta for that one, hun” replied the bartender, smiling.
“What?” Ash answered, accidentally out loud. She took out her phone to check the time.
12:01am.
There were notifications, but notably missed calls and three texts from Baby Daddy.
“Jess?”
“You’re usually on time with payment”
“You okay? It was due on Monday.”
Shit.
SHIT.
The woman felt herself about to heave.
***
PART 2: UNDERWATER (PRESENT)
___
Okay so the first drowning? I don’t remember much at all. I just remember wanting to erase myself for a night. (So if one day you do. Don’t feel bad.)And in a way? I did it.
The next morning though? I felt it. So, I did what a hungover person does. I tried to relax. So I drew a bath and got in.
Baths and showers are where you do your best thinking, some people might say that, and I agree with that.
See, I am a perfectionist, just in case that wasn’t clear from my past letters. If I can’t do it perfectly right? Well I pick it apart until I feel happy enough with it. Which is almost never. That’s why with me? Even if there’s nothing going on-Hell, especially when nothing’s going on I feel like I’m drowning. I held my head under the water. I mean, I’d been metaphorically drowning myself for a while now.
The woman known professionally as “Undeniable” paused her writing and tilted her head.
Maybe don’t encourage this?
For the record, don’t try this, and if you ever do feel like drowning or dying, please do reach out to me, to anyone. I’m only mentioning it because this one time, it helped reset my mind. All the noise started to fade away and I lifted my head. I had a clearer mind. I have this constant need to prove myself worthy, and this matchup with Centurion had been hovering over me since it’s announcement. Centurion is, without a doubt, a living legend. That man has done more in this business than just about anyone in the history of the world. Mystifyingly, he has never slowed down in his entire twenty plus years. Me? I only really had my big break like, three months ago? My opponent had nothing to prove, and I had everything to prove. It’s not going to matter what he does in our match, he’s already established. He’s older than the industry itself. Me? FIGHT!? Zion? We’re all just starting to make our mark.
You know that feeling when you get one part of a song stuck in your head? The same one or two lines? You never get the whole song? That was me.
That IS me.
I just keep repeating it in my head.
Ashlynn Cassidy vs. Centurion
Ashlynn Cassidy vs. Centurion
Ashlynn Cassidy vs. Centurion
Newbie vs. Veteran
Prospect vs. Legend
Davi(d)na vs. Goliath
Ashlynn could hear her inner coice taunt her, reading it as she wrote.
That time under the water helped me realize that I missed out on the whole headline, I was missing the bigger picture.
Ashlynn Cassidy vs. Centurion
The Tara Fenix Charity Cruise
Charity. Cruise.
We were all coming together for this show to above all else, give back. All of us wanted to put on a show for a good cause. CHARITY will be the true winner, whether there is a W or L next to my name. History will show that I was a part of something that did some good, and no one can ever take that away from me.
CRUISE?
Well, a bunch of talents are due to perform from a bunch of different companies. Cruises are on boats, and boats are on water. You know what they say about rising tides?
<3
Mom, the Unsinkable
___
***
PART 3: TIDE IS HIGH AND I’M HOLDIN’ ON (FUTURE)
The Cruise: Day One
12:01pm.
Ash looked up from her phone after checking the time. She’d just sent Zeke’s father the support money she owed, twice over, considering how late it was.
Better late than never. Built in cruise wifi, thanks Tara!
“Come on!”
Ash cracked a smile “I can’t believe YOU would want to do that. I mean, I know you said that you’d never been on a cruise before but…”
Lighten up, have fun, Ash damn you!
She obliged, making her way over to the end of the cruise boat where her boyfriend, Zion rising star Zach Porter, leaned over the edge of the boat. She hugged him from behind and held him.
“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!”
Oh god…
“I’ll never let go, Zach!”
O h g o d !
She shrugged to herself.
Whatever.
Ashlynn peered into the water, no longer anxious she’d drown, or that she’d let anyone down. She was no longer anxious about being in the ring with a legend like Centurion. She even smiled at the water.
Just then, a member of the media covering the event tracked Ash down.
“Anything you’d like to say? To fans? To your opponent? To anyone?”
Ash spun around and found the camera, smirking at it. “Well, first of all. I want to tell you all that I am so proud to be a part of an event like this one. A rising tide like this lifts all boats. No matter the banner we fly, company or charity. It’s an honour, and Tara Fenix deserves all the love in the world. Cross her and there will be an army to stand against you.
To Centurion, I hope you’re ready for a battle for the ages! I understand that our floating coliseum is very much not your first battle. No doubt you have your name because you were around during the times of ancient Rome. I, but a new gladiator! Surely the bets are on you, but who isn’t entertained by a surprise victor?”
Ashlynn dropped the comical banter.
“Listen, real talk? I respect you and everything you’ve done too much to tell you that I will DESTROY you, Cent. I get that most gamblers have you down to win. I get that, and that’s okay. I can’t say that I can list off every accolade you have. I can’t say that I’ve done heavy tape study on you. Quite honestly? If I committed to studying every single thing you've ever done, I’d come out of it as old as you are now.”
Ashlynn took hold of the camera, shooting the vast, blue waters.
“In terms of knowledge, experience, everything? You’re as vast as this water we’re on. I could drown under all of it. Me? A small pond. Hell, maybe even just a puddle.
Except I’m not going to drown old-timer. This isn’t about what’s been done, whatever happens happens.”
She returns the camera to the crew member so they could shoot her again.
“This match for you, another drop of water for your ocean, in the grander scheme of things? Unnoticeable, easily forgotten. For me? For Zion Wrestling? For FIGHT! NYC? This match will be a major splash. It could turn puddles to ponds, and ponds to oceans. And for the record, drowning in puddles? Not impossible.
This is my chance, this is my opportunity to show the entire wrestling world that I am for real. Zion is the future! FIGHT! NYC is the future! I AM the future, and the future in great hands. After tonight? All that will be UNDENIABLE.
Ashlynn began to turn her back, even walking away a bit before turning back, ironically her entrance pose. She winked.
